Earlier this week I went down the YouTube rabbit-hole and eventually wandered into a series of videos about university students from around the country protesting things as petty as inappropriate Halloween costumes.
At Yale, one student went on a tirade, shrieking at a professor how his encouragement to “wear whatever you want” on Halloween was insensitive to her feelings, and failing to create a safe environment for students who had an objection to the costumes.
If it hadn’t been so appalling, I would have laughed at this mid-twenties girl behaving like a spoiled toddler who didn’t get her toy. This girl felt as if she was a victim at the hands of an unjust system.
The other day, I was struggling with all kinds of temptations. Every time I turned around, a new temptation arose. I couldn’t understand why I was being a victim of this much temptation. Crying out to God didn’t help one bit and I grew more and more frustrated with Him for not delivering me. I was a victim.
The financial deadline for the race is rapidly approaching. I have one and a half weeks to raise $4000 and the possibility of not launching is staring me in the face. Almost daily, I wonder what others will think of me for putting all my eggs into the World Race basket. I wonder if they will ridicule me if it doesn’t work out. I’m a victim of fear.
Yesterday I was getting a couple last minute details from REI when I walked past the first-aid rack. Instantly, Eagle Scout was activated and I had to call a friend to convince me not to purchase blood clotting agents, splints, and emergency hydration minerals. My friend asked me why I felt like I had to have those things and I admitted to being fearful of being in an emergency situation without being able to help them. I was a victim of fear yet again.
“If the Race doesn’t work out, what will you do?” is a question I ask myself alot. I’m so used to having control and backup plans, that this is completely contrary to my nature. I’m a victim to having control.
Victimization is rampant in this world, and it’s a lie! My victimization to sin and fear is as irrational as that Yale student being a victim to an unjust system.
This is a lot of being a victim, and I’m sick of it! How can we know the truth, but forget it as soon as battle arises? Whatever happened to being “more than conquerors” and “All things work together for good”?
Oh how quickly we forget the promises of God. Promises of peace, of love, power, and of victory.
I’m overwhelmed with all the stuff to do in preparation and all this spiritual battle just makes it more difficult. I prayed about it and received the words “Michael, why are you worried about the big things? You cant even handle the small things. Work on the small things and I’ll handle the big things.”
Training Camp was a honeymoon with Jesus. I learned to love, learned my identity, and built a relationship with Christ. Now, it’s the day-to-day marriage, the daily choice to choose Him over self. I experienced boot-camp, now it’s time for battle. Paul’s words to “keep our eyes on the prize” resonate in my mind as I pray on my armor daily.
Hillsong has a song that speaks to me called “Love is War” and this these lyrics are powerful:
I will fight to follow
I will fight for love
Throw my life forever
To the triumph of the Son
