Happy New Years!
A new year, a new me. I am not the same person I was
not when I signed up for the race
not when I went to training camp
not when I went to launch
not after the first month
nor after moldova debrief
and I am not the same person as when I woke up
I have achieved many personal goals since the world race has entered my life
nearly 5 years ago when I first came looked at the website I decided I was not ready yet. that my life was still such a mess
The person I was then was a mess, far from knowing who God is, but I knew that who I was was not who God saw
I wanted so desperately to be able to go on this trip.
Heres the catch I thought I was not good enough, yes I had issues that would make this trip harder, but not impossible
I choose at that moment not to believe I was worthy enough, good enough, godly enough
Yes I would never ever change they way it worked out, never change my squad, my route, my teammates
But in the moment when I first started the application and got hung up on my past, my present self I decided something
I decided I would fight for it, fight to be free of my porn and masturbation addiction in order to be able to go on this mission trip
Fight
So here I am, free of my addictions, no longer ashamed of my past.
I am by no means perfect, in fact once I got past my addictions I had the pleasure of seeing my other faults and where else I did not walk in obedience.
I get the chance to grow in new areas, to fall before God for new issues that pop up.
I can not wait for this next year, for each day to come.
To have the chance to walk out something new, to walk in obedience
To find out what God has planned for me, to see it manifest.
I can not wait to be so much farther in my identity then I am today.
