10/11th – 10/18th This blog post is overdue, but I finally got the courage to upload it. Here is a glimpse of my training camp experience.
The night before leaving for Georgia, I remember thinking that this is actually happening. The following morning, I woke up at 4 am to catch my flight, and I prayed for a safe trip and for the reality to sink in. This is it. I’m really doing this; I’m getting on that plane for training camp. God, please give me confirmation and please show me that this is Your will throughout the week I’m there… because this is something I would never in a million years think of doing on my own. There has to be a reason my heart and mind felt led to do this.
Already felt like a World Racer with all my gears on!
When I landed in Georgia, I didn’t know what to expect, and I just looked around for a large group of people wearing purple clothing.
There I met Q sQuad 🙂
I didn’t know what to expect, but all I can say is that this short week in the middle of the forest in Georgia was the toughest and most stretching week of my life. I have never been so challenged emotionally, mentally, psychically, and spiritually ALL at once.
Rainy, muddy nights and mornings, cold bucket showers, porta potties, lots and lots of bugs, small food portions, and not having any control in what we’re doing …
I knew it was God’s will that gave me the strength to pull it through this week.
Every morning, I would wake up wanting to throw in the flag and ask God:
“Why God? Why do I have to suffer and go through this to love You? Why can’t it be easier? Can’t I stay in sunny Cali weather and the comforts of my hometown to love others and seek You? Do I really need to leave and surrender everything I once believed in? Please give me confirmation on this mission trip. Please give me clarity and peace. Because this is SO not what I thought it would be, did I really sign up for this?”
Day one was tough, draining, and very confusing.
I felt like I didn’t belong, and I wasn’t good or strong enough for this trip. What was I doing here? What was I thinking committing to a one year mission? What did I get myself into!?
My insecurities started eating at me, and I started comforting myself with the thought of calling quits and going back home (And this is only day one).
The following morning, we had to wake up early to hike with our large backpacks and daypacks. I seriously thought that I was the weakest link in our group. I had a hard time even pulling up my backpack, let alone carry it for an hour.
I was so irritated with being ordered around and having to do so many physical activities I just plugged in my earphones and had my “alone time” while marching up the hills with my sQuad. The only thing that kept ringing in my head was,
“ What am I doing here? Why am I putting myself in this discomfort? Why God? I’m so weak I don’t think I can do this anymore… and it’s just day two.” As I closed my eyes and walked at the pace and flow of everyone else, a bright image and light came across my mind. I couldn’t grasp it at first, and as I shut my eyes tighter and looked closely, I saw a dim image of the Cross. I saw the image of Jesus, in pain and struggling to carry the Cross but determined. I was so overwhelmed with the vision God gave me. In the moment of hopelessness and discomfort, I was reminded of His everlasting love and sacrifice. The climb up the hill with my full gear was nothing compared to the Cross. Nothing compared to the sacrifice and pain Jesus went through to die for our sins. He gave me the courage and strength to say one more day.
I realized the moment I got to training camp, I had this label of “entitlement”.
I’ve grown up knowing and believing that you get what you work for, and if you put in that extra effort, you will be greater than others. I looked down on people and always had control over everything I did in my life. These were the labels I wore: Authority, Entitlement, Pride, and Control.
God showed me what it looked like to be stripped away from those four things that I was labeled with.
I was able to feel what it would be like to be free from sin, to be free from the things that have been taking over my life.
It’s strange, every morning I wanted to give up; He would give me enough strength to get through to the afternoon, and I would tell myself, just one more day.
“How am I suppose to survive and get through a whole year in third world countries if I can’t even get through just one week in the middle of the forest at training camp which is still in the states!?”
Day 3 – The night I invited the Holy Spirit –
I come from a fairly conservative church, so raising hands, dancing, and shouting out to God during praise isn’t quite the norm for me. I was definitely out of my comfort zone when I saw that majority of the crowd were really into it. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I be like everyone else, and why couldn’t I feel the way they felt? I was holding onto a thin line. I was confused that I didn’t even want to try anymore. I just shut my eyes tight and asked for the Holy Spirit’s presence. I was so desperate for an answer that I didn’t realize I was shaking. My heart slowly started warming up and in moments, I was on my knees crying and praying, and feeling a mix of everything. I think that’s when I realized I was surrendering and letting go.
I was prayed over in tongue and although I wasn’t familiar with it, there was this strange sense of understanding and overwhelming love I felt.
In the mist of all the emotions, something stood out very clearly; it was the image of the Cross. Thank you Jesus. I felt a heavy weight being lifted off and the night was clear.
All I remember doing after is singing praise through the night looking at the beautiful stars, feeling so full from His love and thanking Him for it all.
If I were to wrap up training camp in a few words, I would have to say that I am thankful for the new friendships, vulnerable hearts, unexpected prayers, unconditional love from the staffs and teammates, singing love songs to God throughout the night, sacrificing for one another, learning to be submissive, being broken, surrendering it all, trusting in Him, and the Cross.
Here is a short picture story of training camp week!
Welcome to The World Race Training Camp!
Our sleeping grounds. I feel like I became a pro camper after this experience
Mountain of backpacks… Q sQuad tee shirts!
When we were assigned with specific members to work as a team to get to point A and B with disabilities
Meet team Flourish –> Liv, Alayna, Me, Alexis, Olivia, Allison & Rachel 🙂
These are the sisters I will be living and serving with in the 11 countries for the next 11 months.
sQuad Wars with T Flourish!
t’was an amazing week with these brothers and sisters! Go Q sQuad!
