Okay, so it has been almost a month since I’ve blogged. There are many reasons for it…but they aren’t important. I’m currently in Yalta, Ukraine. It’s beautiful…looks like Greece some days when the sun hits the water. We have been doing construction and teaching English at a Christian Resort for Missionaries to come and rest and rejuvinated. We can see the Black Sea every day and it is quite beautiful. I feel close to God when I’m outside and in pretty places so it has been a really good month. Also, this is the first month where we have not had a ton of relational ministry – which means we have time to think and process – which can be a rarity on the race. God has really allowed me to just be with HIM. Some days I’m covered from head to toe in blue paint with my ipod in just thinking and praying. I would like to share one of the things that God has revealed to me this month…
FEAR.
Before the race I really woudn’t consider myself a fearful person. I then was accepted to the race and went to training camp one year ago this month. Then I was asked to be a team leader. That is when I now know fear took over. I didn’t think I was qualified enough to be a leader, that my relationship with God wasn’t strong enough, I feared that I wouldn’t be able to support raise $14,000, I feared that I would be missing out on things back home, I was feared that something would happen to my family while I was away, etc. etc. etc. As I settled into the race – one day over coffee in Malaysia (month 4) – I remember our first squad leader, Robby saying that at training camp that FEAR was written all over my face. I was a little annoyed and wanted to deny it. But, it was soooo true. I was fearful and not allowing God to walk me through some of those fears. HE has done just that over the course of this year. 5 months later – in Ireland – Robby says to me “It’s gone. The fear is gone. You are walking in confidence.” So, now I’m choosing to walk along side my Father and Creator – allowing HIM to show me and mold me into the woman that HE created. You see…you think you are signing up for this cute little mission trip where you are going to serve your little heart out – but in that process GOD is working on you. This is just one of the many things GOD has taught me over the course of this year. I’m learning to FEAR LESS so maybe one day I can be FEARLESS.
I’m still looking for about $2,000 in support before I get home on November 20th! If 200 people donate just $10 – I would be fully funded! Thank you for your continued support and prayers! Looking forward to seeing you all NEXT MONTH (so weird that I can say that!!!)
Love,
Michelle
