It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. And as I sit here starting this blog, I’m not quite sure what to write about. And maybe much to your disappointment, it’s been really nice to be quiet and not always have something to say.
Yesterday and today I had the opportunity to hang out with a little boy, named Jonathan, in the mornings at our ministry site. I’m not quite sure how old he is, maybe six years old or so. But as soon as he saw us, he came running over, with his arms wide open with a huge smile on his face. The interesting thing about Jonathan is that he is mute and I’m not sure how much he hears. So despite there always being a language barrier, there were a lot more barriers getting in the way from getting to know him.
But that didn’t stop him from plopping himself into my lap. And wanting to share earbuds as we listened to the new Vertical Church Band album on full blast. And attempt to play Candy Crush simply by just swiping his finger across the screen. His face lit up and a little giggle escaped his mouth every time he happened to make a match. The only sounds that ever came out of his mouth were spurts of laughter. My heart was full.
At one point while I was playing with him, I tried to imagine what it was like to live as he lived. I don’t know how much he can hear, but from watching him play with the volume button as we listened to music, I could tell it wasn’t much. And to not be able to speak. Or to have a quiet world. To only be able to see. But still be able to build relationships with people. And to feel the freedom to plop down into a lap and be able to enjoy and play and build a relationship.
And as I’m sitting here typing, I think the dots are slowly starting to connect. I’m not sure how much it’s going to connect, but I’m just going to go for it.
This month has been a quieter month for me. Quieter in the sense of what I’m learning from the Lord. Quieter in the fact that I love being in a tent all by myself and having a quiet place to go. Quiet in the moments of standing on the bus watching the world go by for two hours as I go to and from ministry each day. Quiet moments as I look out from the top of the mountain over the city of Quito. Quiet as I zip across the jungle on a zipline. Quiet as I sit on the beach on the coast on my birthday thinking and asking the Lord what my 27th year may or may not entail. So many quiet moments with not a whole lot of answers.
And I think that’s okay. In fact I know that’s okay. Because that’s what the Lord has for me this month. To not hear much and not have anything to say. But to just plop down in His lap and enjoy who He is and the things around me. To sit together and listen to music. To pause and see the beauty of His creation. To laugh with friends or at the books I’m reading. To enjoy Him. To stop trying so hard to learn every time I read the Word and let Him be the one to point out things to me. And to let the enjoyment of it all build my relationship with Him.
At times, it’s been heard to sit in the silence and not get answers from the Lord. But there’s also been so much beauty in the silence too. It’s made me aware of so many other things and be an observer of what He is doing already and all the life around me. It’s made me slow down a little bit.
And simply just enjoy Him. May I desire to be more like Jonathan and feel the freedom to plop down in the Lord’s lap and simply enjoy Him for who He is and time spent together.
