A young man and woman walked into the coffee shop as I sat there drinking my coffee, talking to my teammate. They had the most adorable 2-week old baby with them. Seeing this baby brought so many feelings and emotions to the forefront. I immediately started to tear up like a baby with a sad weeping face. Then the cry came with gasps for air as I tried to hold back the tears. I wasn’t sure why now in this moment I was breaking down. I have been praying circles around my own life for a husband and family of my own that is surrounded in love and faith.
By Gods grace and love for me he knew my heart wanted more than just to settle for what the World does. I desire a love that is like a fairytale, like the love the Father has for us. People have told me I’m crazy, It’s not possible, or I’ll be waiting forever, but it is something that is out there. I’ve seen it in others and I’ve seen it with the way God loves me. It’s just hard being patient and trusting in his promise.
I no longer accept the lie that I’m unlovable or undeserving of the love that I have so longed for my entire life. Now I can just be thankful that I didn’t settle for less of what I deserve or could have offered at the time. If I couldn’t fully love myself before and accept with confidence my own creation and purpose in this life, than how could I encourage, inspire, love, and help others when I would become a mom, or wife. My relationship with my Father was non-existent in the way that would lead to the love I longed for in a relationship here in the flesh. It must start with HIM first. I KNOW THAT NOW TO MY CORE!
When I do things I give 100%. I give All of me. But I was giving all of me to the wrong people, areas of work/performance, and things of this world. Once God is truly first in my life and I can live in His grace with empowerment through Him I can receive and give others the Love that He has for us. It is all in His glory that we are able to live in a place where unconditionally love is a tangible thing. We are so truly blessed to receive this love every single day.
Currently, I am on the path to being the mom my hearts desired to be that teaches Truth of love through my actions and words, a wife that will grow in faith With her husband to serve Him together in one body, a daughter to her parents that will honor them with love and thanks, a sister that serves as a role model to the ways we love each other, a friend that is forgiving and without judgment, and a servant of Christ that follows with obedience to her Lord and Savior with submission. These are attributes that my Creator has made my heart desire and strive for. He wants us to dream BIG!
“Prayer and Imagination are directly proportional…the more you pray the bigger your imagination becomes because the Holy Spirit supersizes it with God-sized dreams.” –Mark Batterson
Sometimes we have days that start off feeling low or sad, but somehow turn into the best ones. They are the ones that we remember because they reveal something stirring inside that teaches us a lesson, solidifies a truth, answers a prayer, or even remind us of what to hold on to. This day in the coffee shop reminded me to hold on to my dream and keep praying through…praying circles around my Big Fairytale Dream.
The day I say “I Do” I can now say “I Am”. Because I’m no longer a slave to fear, I Am a child of God.
The journey is never over…we are continually learning and tested to trust our Lord.
If you are reading this and doubt your desires or dreams, than pray circles around them. Invite friends and family to pray for them as well. Keep praying through and never give up on your Big Dreams. Take a step further in your walk with Christ and push the limits.
Attached is a video of a sermon given by Todd White. This man is a true inspiration to my life and how I want to continue to grow in my walk. I hope he in inspires you the way he does for me.
“Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:32-33
