I am tired of God not showing up…
in the way that I want.
Her foot was swollen and eaten up with an infection and she was also suffering from malaria. I felt the Holy Spirit leading me that before we prayed for her, our team of five (Kolby, Sam B, Andrea, Ashley and myself) should sing worship songs and thank God ahead of time for her healing.
We began singing and I felt the presence of God wash over me. I thought, “Awesome! God is here and we’re gonna see this woman get healed.”
We began praying for her and speaking healing over her foot and over the malaria. After the final prayer and “amen” there didn’t seem to be any change. She wasn’t jumping up and down. She didn’t break into dance and praise God. Her foot was still swollen and she still seemed drained from the malaria. We said goodbye and continued our trek through the heat of the African jungle.
Some monkeys looked down on us with curiosity from the tree tops as we circled around a man who is suffering from tuberculosis.
(The most common form, pulmonary tuberculosis (formerly known as ‘consumption’), is caused by inhalation of the bacteria. It was widespread in 19th-century Europe, and still causes 3 million deaths each year in developing countries. The disease can affect other parts of the body, notably the bones and joints and the central nervous system. Its spread is countered by vaccination and by the pasteurization of milk to prevent transmission from cattle. It was once considered incurable, but early X-ray diagnosis permits its arrest by drugs and surgery).
We laid hands on him and began to pray for God’s healing power to wash over him. After praying, he looked up at me with those same defeated and hopeless eyes. We left him there to wait for his grave.
I am tired of God not showing up the way I want.
Addendum:
I remember over New Years at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, being amazed as everyone we prayed for got healed. It makes me wonder, why then and not now? Why not today?
Regardless of what my physical eyes tell me, I believe for their healing. FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. I have faith that the woman’s foot is healed and that the malaria left her body. I have faith that she will dance again. I have faith that ‘the man we met with tuberculosis’ will become ‘the man we met who once had tuberculosis’. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one… God also dreams.
