Last time I left you, I was running around trying to fix my relationship with the Creator. Well, since that last blog, God has poured quite a lot into me (you remember when I said I couldn’t hear Him, right?).
Since I have stopped running around like a tasmanian devil and finally started to just be- God has been doing some serious moving. Twice since I have been here in Malaysia God has spoken through me aka allowing me to encourage and uplift my teammates. God has made me a vessel, funneling His voice through me…not only building up my teammates but also myself. Learning and never questioning His authority is a constant reminder of how big my faith is getting and just how infinite He really is.
So where am I now? You might say “I know where you are, you’re in Malaysia” No no no… I mean yes I am in Malaysia, but I want to tell you where I am Spiritually.
Let me start with what happened last night. I was working out, listening to worship and praying when I heard God say, “Michael, you don’t really know how Big I am and what I am capable of”. As I started to think about it I realized the heaviness of this truth. I don’t have any clue as to how big the Lord really is. If I could truly understand a glimmer of who God is, wouldn’t I understand how much more I need to surrender to Him? Doesn’t that just make sense?
As I continued to try and wrap my head around never ending love and power I came across this awesomeness I couldn’t help but pray to the anointed One:
Father , I love you and I lift Your name high.
I come to you knowing that I am nothing,
and You are everything.
God, I want more.
I want a deeper understanding of who You are.
I want a deeper love for You.
Father cover my face and pass by me,
that I may feel you.
I come to you on my knees proclaiming that you are the only thing I need,
and the only thing I want.
Move in me, oh Lord,
give my strength, and make me the man you’ve ordained me to be.
Put more Luther in my blood.
Search me O Father
see if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way of the everlasting.
As if my face wasn’t melting enough, I ran across this awesomeness from our friend Moses:
Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”
And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”
Then the LORD said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”
-Exodus 33:18-23
This pretty much knocked me flat. Having faith is having the trust to stand firm in the unseen but desire to feel and know more of Him. As my faith stretches, bends and expands like silly putty I want to continue to stretch my hand out to Him. I want Him to reveal more and more to me. I want Him to blow my human realm of understanding completely out of the water. What else can I say? What else can I do? Not much. It’s time to let go of myself.
