On my heart
My attitude and actions have just been pretty crappy lately. Once I step into a bad mood I end up hanging out in it for awhile. I know intentional time spent with God and in His Word is the medicine but sometimes that bad mood creeps in and causes there to be a lack of motivation or even the want to want Him. The bad mood was frustrating me so much that I let it all out on Him earlier today (may have yelled). It was such a huge relief even though I felt nothing was solved. Tonight, on the way home, I was pretty guilt ridden because of my awful mood. Music tends to be my escape and I remembered a simple song on the album in my cd player that was about how He responds to us when we fail. I felt like I’ve seriously thrown away a good couple of days since being in Albany because of my mood but even though I wasted them and have had a craptitude, He responds with mind boggling grace and says it’s ok. Needless to say, I blasted it.. and just let His grace wash over me with those lyrics.
I don’t know if anyone out there can relate, but just so you know folks.. there is no condemnation for us, guys. He’s not ashamed. He loves us and will clean us off however many times we fail. He’s not mad. He welcomes us into his embrace and intoxicates us with His words. Listen. Our God is love! I can type that out.. but sometimes it doesn’t sink into my heart.
And when that sinks in… ohhh what a generation God can change.. families He can mend.. restoration he can do in us and through us. Falling head over heels in love with our Savior is what I need.. It’s what I want so that doing for the Kingdom would just come out of pure love and there would be no me involved.
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Before I could finish this little bite size of bloggy goodness, I spoke to a dear friend who speaks so much truth.. it’s ridiculous. I identified the cause of my bad mood. I identified that the enemy wants me to stay guilt ridden. I identified that he wants that cause to have a stronghold over me. I said.. that ain’t happenin’ son.. my God is greater.. He’s bigger and stronger and He has already won… so run and tell that homeboy, homeboy, home, home, homeboy. (oh yes)
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I leave in less than a month, crazy! Before I leave though, I have the opportunity to serve students at Passion 2011. Pray that God changes hearts and will rise up this generation to bring His Kingdom to earth Also, pray for the fine folks who make this happen. This conference is so meaningful to me. Last year, God healed me from some serious hurt and I also became aware of human trafficking. God does amazing things through Passion.. amazing things.
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As far as financial support goes, I’ve got about 500 dollars left to raise and I’m feelin’ pretty good about it. God is providing through amazing friends and family! Thanks a ton and I hope to have another update soon about my lovely ladies on my team.
