Hello! I have time and a computer. 😀
Last month in Viet Nam I grew in communicating with God. Our purpose was unlike other months: to seek out new contacts. Viet Nam “” is unofficially a closed country, so finding Christians who had ministries wasn’t going to be easy.
There are churches where people meet and nothing about the place to make one fearful. Yet one unrelated group of travelers was sent home just after arrival for partnering with someone the government designated as radical. The story portrayed mal-intentioned, non-law abiding people sneaking around to help an ignorant, harmful, lunatic. Honestly, it sounded like an American youth group came to help build a church for a faithful pastor.
When we did come across Christians they were initially glad to see us, but then silenced with fear when we asked if they could direct us to ministries to help. It seems persecution is more of a problem than we realize. But even if it isn’t, fear is.
The first few days my team worked together to plan what to do for the month. As we prayed for direction and shared prayer requests and dreams etc., God gave us answers interwoven in each other. We had to share and be supportive of what God was showing each of us for the path forward to make sense. It unified us like nothing we tried to do the past two months.
Several times, Julie and I prayer walked through Ho Chi Minh, and God always showed up even though we didn’t find a contact that way. One day we were led to a hospital and ended up praying throughout it. It doesn’t sound like something extraordinary, but the way we were led there, the way the Holy Spirit’s presence was there, and the way God encouraged Julie’s friend through it – were miraculous. Another day we stopped in various shops and Julie talked to the shopkeepers about Jesus’ love for them while I was praying, “shopping.” It was great because they were so receptive and because each of us just followed what God was telling us to do. We didn’t plan it and yet we formed an ideal team and were in agreement on everything.
Those sorts of things were really cool to see. God was clearly at work and using us even if we didn’t meet a quota of contacts. (There wasn’t a quota btw, in case you were wondering.) Almost every day we practiced the discipline of listening prayer. It seemed really crazy to me at first, and I still have a lot to learn, but it allowed me to grow a lot. It’s funny though, that I was learning such foundational concepts just last month. For example, I learned I can talk to God and expect an answer back like a conversation with another human sitting beside you. I’m not saying He will always immediately reply like that, but I used to never even listen for an answer. I thought of talking to God like putting a message in a bottle for the God across the sea to read and eventually reply to. He cared and would reply as was best, but I never listened because I didn’t think He spoke.
Communication with God was vital to any reasonable hope of finding a ministry partner. If we were to find one, He would have to direct us. And He did. Though the contacts were in areas we weren’t allowed to go, He clearly directed us to them. Hopefully a future team will be allowed to go to them and have the necessary meetings.
That may seem like the climax of this story: we found what we were sought. But the most important part was what we learned on the way. Like I said, we were dependent on God, so we were focused on hearing from Him. But it’s that listening well – to God – part that most challenged and shaped us.
First off, it’s difficult to hear from God when other things are on your heart. So sometimes I had a lot of talking to God about whatever was on my heart first, and then I could really listen after. I also thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to think during rare blocks of time; I hadn’t had time like that since the week I was incapacitated in India. In this way, while seeking to listen well to His direction, I personally processed and learned a lot. Unexpectedly, when we sought His leading, God made a big deal about my complete wholeness, and rather ignored the agenda we made for ourselves.
Listening to God, I found Him to care so much about me – much more than I expected though I never doubted His goodness. I found Him closer, more gentle, and more at ease. He doesn’t care so much about getting done the things we think we need to do. He likes it when we follow desires He’s given us, way more than I expected. He delights in us and loves our love for Him. I found Him to want us to rest more. I found Him to only speak much more uplifting and encouraging things about me than what I thought to myself. I found Him to know me better than I know myself. He even kept bringing up things from the past that I had no reason to think about, just so I could see them in a new light that was better for me. Sometimes the things were so small (or seemingly beyond my control) that I wouldn’t have considered them worthwhile to bring up again, and yet He cared about them. He cares about us being whole in this broken place.
I wonder how much of our understanding of God is our own fabrication and not really Him at all. There is so much I don’t know about myself, or prayer, or God. But I do know that God is powerful and good, that He loves you lavishly and covets your love, and that He dearly desires intimate conversation with you.
Cool side: Tourists from many countries inhabited our hostel. They were fun to talk to and I enjoyed understanding their perspectives. Sometimes I got to share about Jesus, but even if I didn’t, I hope I shared God’s love.
I love you guys so much!!!
