The morning that I woke up and left for the race I felt sick. Was I crazy? This seemed like a great idea a couple of months ago when I had first gotten accepted. But now it just seemed difficult, sad, and endless. When I thought about being away from my friends and family for 11 months my eyes started watering. All of a sudden I felt like I couldn’t do this. I felt like maybe it was my voice rather than God’s that had told me to “go” so long ago. I could no longer hear the calling on my life and I was so scared to leave home. If I’m being honest, I even went as far as to think of ways to get out of going. Maybe I could get really sick or something? Maybe I could pretend to have some kind of big sickness (Ebola) and they wouldn’t let me on the plane. But then I remembered all the pieces that had fallen so perfectly into place and I couldn’t ignore that the Lord had orchestrated this. This realization helped for a minute but then came time for me to say goodbye.
The goodbyes were so much harder than I could have imagined. But my family and friends have all been so wonderful and supportive of this journey and have really invested deeply into what the Lord wants to do with this next year of my life. Nevertheless, looking Peacey in the eye and saying goodbye knocked the wind out of me. I remember thinking, “how can this be right if it hurts so much?” But I knew that the Lord had called me to this and that no matter what I was feeling, this was right. I once read that it is important to be obedient even and especially when you don’t feel like it because it shows that your devotion is not dependent upon your mood. That got me out the door.
After a few flights and short layovers I arrived in the San Francisco airport where I was to meet my team, spend the night, and fly out the next afternoon. I was able to find my team without a problem. How? They were the big group of people who had set up their sleeping pads and sleeping bags on the ground. One of things I’ve already learned about racers is that they can sleep anywhere. Any. Where. They were also some of the friendliest people I’ve ever met. Seeing them and meeting them and knowing that this was going to be my family calmed all my fears. I knew instantly that I wasn’t in this alone, that they were going through the exact same things, and that they were safe.
I’ll write more about training camp and what that was like later. But for now I want to end with saying that this group of 26 has become my family already. As I get to know each of them better, the future seems less scary and home doesn’t seem as far away. This race is starting to look more and more like the adventure that I had been praying for. I know that there will be hard times and sleepless nights ahead but I know that I’m in good company.
