As I’m writing this, I’m laying down in my bed…in my room….at my parent’s house…in no other than the United States of America.
Wait…what? Real or not real?
I have been back in the States since last Saturday, and it was nothing short of a very unexpected trip back. If you read my previous blog, you’ll know that I was feeling shaky and not feeling well. Last Friday, I had more blood work done and it showed that two enzyme levels that could point to my pancreas/heart/spleen/etc was elevated and the doctor told me that I had to return to America immediately to get more tests done.
Again…..wait…what? Real or not real?
I was in complete shock. Month 10 was almost over…we were about ready to begin month 11…and I have to return home as soon as possible?! My thoughts were going all over the place, and in the midst of the chaos…I still had that unexplainable peace.
I was soon taken up to where our contact was, sat in her living room, called my Squad Leader to let her know and my mom…and then we booked my flight home for the next day. After that, I was told to meet with the nurse, Chris, later that evening to call insurance. My next step was telling my team that I would no longer be their team leader and that I would be returning home the next day.
Wait…what? Real or not real?
Michelle, one of my team mates, graciously accepted the role as Team Leader for the last month of the race. The rest of my team was very sweet towards me, and even pulled off a quick going away party. I felt so incredibly loved. Those girls are like family to me, and it was so hard to leave.
I’m still having a hard time believing that I’m here…in the US…in my home. I have moments where I feel like Peeta in Mocking Jay, asking myself is this real or not real? Am I in a dream? Was the last 10 months of my life a dream?
If I wanted to, I could return on the field for my last month. For what ever reason, though, I feel like the Lord is asking me to stay here. In America. I knew for the past couple months that He was going to call me into a season of rest after the Race…but that’s just it. I thought it was going to be after Month 11…not Month 10.
I’m struggling with all sorts of emotions. Why am I here a month early? What am I to do here? How do I rest? How do I process this past year? What in the world do I do when I am not in community 24/7?
I miss my team and my squad very much. Being here, at home, with my family…makes me happy. I missed them so much, and there were times I longed to be with them. I really love them. On the flip side, being back, I feel like I was separated from my other family. My World Race family. The ones that I experienced life with the past year, experiencing all sorts of crazy things that only they can fully understand. Some of the people on my squad became some of my closest friends.
On the flip side, my enzyme levels are back to normal. They were elevated due to the anti-malarial medicine I was taking called Mefloquine and possibly the parasite. If you are going on a Mission’s trip into a Malaria area-DO NOT TAKE MEFLOQUINE. CHOOSE ANOTHER DRUG. RESEARCH! That medicine is NOT a JOKE and has a lot of crazy side effects!
Also-I WILL be doing a blog at the end of this month with any questions you have about this past year, so ask away. 🙂
Thank-you all for keeping up with me this year. God is awesome.
With love,
Meraia
