As I’m writing this, I’m sitting on the bottom of a bunk bed in my room, in our house here in Manzini, Swaziland amazed by the face that in less than four months, I will be back in the United States and my World Race will be completed. In all honesty, it’s what most of my thoughts have revolved around these past few days.
When I think of returning home, I feel overwhelmed. So much has changed these past seven, almost eight, months. People have passed away..people have moved…my church has stopped having church on Saturday nights…my parents have different jobs…some of my family have endured different hardships and sicknesses…friends have gotten married…pregnant…had babies….and I, I have changed…
Change is inevitable to happen, especially within almost a year’s time. Heck, change is inevitable to happen in less than a 24 hour span. I can’t explain it, but when you are away from home, the change is a bit more clear and a bit more real. I honestly don’t think that I will get the full effect of all the changes that have happened, at home and on the Race, until I am back home and that can seem overwhelming.
There are so many questions that are whirling through my mind:
“If I’m this different now…what will I be like at the end of Month 11?”
“What in the world am I going to do when I get back home?”
“What if I get called out to go someplace else?”
“Will people only ask me those ‘five questions’ that my squad mentor talked about during Month 7 Debrief?”
“What else is going to change while I’m away?”
“What is God wanting to do through me in the last part of my Race?”
And those are pretty vague compared to what is actually spinning through my mind. I know that it’s a normal thing to go through this, because most of my squad mates are, so I’m not alone. It doesn’t change the fact that we, as individuals, are going to have to deal with all these different changes that have happened or are going to happen when we hit U.S. soil on May 20th, 2016.
A truth that I must remember and keep replaying in my mind is that God is in the future. He’s there in the midst of my questions. He knows my next steps. He knows what changes would happen, are going to happen and what’s going to change within me. I MUST trust that the Lord knows what’s going on and that things will all turn out how they’re supposed to be as long as I follow His lead. Will things be hard? I’m sure at times they will be, but that is where character is forged.
During this “last leg” of my World Race journey, I know that I will be processing through what He has done within me, what has gone on at home, what will be waiting for me at home and what He has planned for me in the future. I also know that many racers will be as well.
I encourage you all to pray for us and that we have sensitive ears to God’s voice in this season. It’s an awkward place to be in. Also, if you know a Racer that is on the last leg of their journey, know that they will be different when they get back. You will be different when they get back. Be compassionate towards them and try to understand, just like you, they have experienced a lot in just 11 months time. Give them time to process, ask them more than what is the craziest food they ate or the weirdest place they had to use the bathroom.
I love and miss you all!
Sincerely,
Meraia
Matthew 7:33-34
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious about itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
