Today the Lord took me by the hand and said, “let me show
you what I have in store for you.” The day was a mixture of destruction,
building, and enlivening. This is the path my heart had to endure, as well as
the path the Lord had worked into my day. In this blog I will explain what my
heart and mind endured, and in the next blog I will show you how it affected a
day.
First, destruction; my mind was in destructive mode. Days
before I was whining and complaining to the Lord for the hardships we were enduring.
I asked a million whys…. Why did he send us to the middle of nowhere, why were
we getting sick, why was nothing planned, why, why, why, continued to erupt in
my prayers. It is very embarrassing now that I think about it, but it’s what
occurred. Anyway, since I wasn’t in the best of moods the advice my dad would
always give me when I was in a stupor or in some mood was to read Proverbs. So
what did I do? I opened up my Bible and began to read Proverbs 2.
Second, Building; So as I’m reading the chapter, it’s
calling out several faults, and convicting me of what I lack;
“My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you, So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding; Yes if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord And find the knowledge of God.”
I have been requesting a love, an understanding, wisdom, searching for what I don’t have, and in the process blaming and complaining to God for not giving me what I asked for. But when I really began to read the words and think, I saw the lovely word PRIDE emerge before my eyes. I was selfish, and wanted from our relationship, instead of giving. I was lazy and wanted to skip the crying out and treasuring of his commands, and get to the feel good part. I wanted to feel the love, feel the joy, feel the fear, and know the wisdom. I haven’t sought the Lord like a hidden treasure. Do you know how greedy we are about money? Can you imagine how we would react if told that there is buried treasure somewhere near we just have to search for it. We would be searching day and night for it, because it would be an answer to all of our problems right? Well if the Lord can serve the same purpose then why don’t we seek him out and his words like treasure? Why don’t I seek him out like a priceless treasure, why don’t I receive his words and ensure that I understand them by committing them to memory? I haven’t sought the Lord in this way, so how can I expect him to give me everything I ask for; it’s not my place to make such requests.
Third, Enlivening; So as I continued to read the chapter,
and realize the immaturity of my ways, the Word gave me hope and assurance. The
protection I ask for, the wisdom I seek, and all the hardships I have been
enduring will all be revealed to me soon.
“When wisdom enters your heart, and
knowledge is pleasant to your soul, Discretion will preserve you; Understanding
will keep you, To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks
perverse things, From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the
ways of darkness.”
Before coming to Draganesti-Olt we were warned of a
spiritual battle-taking place here. Our team was struck with sickness,
lethargy, and a lot of frustrations. The first thing I did was whine and
complain to the Lord, but my heart wasn’t in the right place to make such a
protest. Now, reflecting on the errors of my way while praying for forgiveness,
I decided that tomorrow, I would work on giving: to him, and to others. I would
seek him, and also I would accept any task asked of me as if the Lord himself
had intended it for me. It was a scary prayer, but fruitful, the next blog will
show you how.
