October came and went, and so did November. I'm still surprised that so much time could slip past me so effortlessly. This post and announcement is long overdue, and for that I apologize.
My friends, I will not be leaving for the World Race this January.
I think I have been hoping that I would be able to come up with a glorious, well-written account of the events that happened right before the day I should have left for training camp in October. I’ve been intending to compose an inspiring, poetic logic to share on why and how GOD has brought me to another unexpected change of direction in my life. And then I woke up on December 6 and finally acknowledged that this piece had to be written out of necessity, whether there was inspiration or not.
So, to share the story, I had every intention of being at Training Camp that week. I had more than intention—I was determined. The first few days of October were a rollercoaster. I was given the privilege to meet with the leadership of a church in Asheville, North Carolina, and share about my mission trip. Their prayer and support boosted my faith to be able to survive a miserably rained-out fundraiser over that weekend. Meanwhile, I had purchased a bus ticket to Atlanta and arranged to carpool the rest of the way with some squad members. I invested into some necessities from Wal-Mart and prepared a mental checklist of what I would be packing. It seemed I had everything. Everything, that is, except the funding.
But let me say, I so was not intimidated by that. I can’t tell you how many financial deadlines I’ve faced with empty pockets and everything turned out alright as GOD somehow made a way. I was convinced and had true faith that if GOD wanted me to leave with my squad, then He would show me how it would be possible.
And that brings us to the crux of the matter. Did GOD want me to go? I had not, at any point, received confirmation that the World Race was where GOD wanted me to be. “Why were you pursuing it, then, Melissa?” you may be wondering.
Because pursuing the World Race was something I felt I had confirmation and permission to do. To pursue, but with no clarification on whether it would be obtained. It became a walk of faith and a walk of obedience, and I did so with joy and expectation. And GOD gave my heart assurance, as my anxieties and worries arose, that His presence would be with me, and His heart is for me, every step of the way. No matter where these steps would take me. So pursue the World Race I did, with my whole heart. There was nothing else GOD had put on my heart to pursue anyways.
The night before my bus departed from Knoxville to Atlanta was full of surprises. I arrived home after a late night’s work unable to get ahold of my ride to the bus station for the morning and just in time to witness my cat go into an early labor. As I fell asleep around 2 am, my bag still unpacked and a kitten whose mother refused to nurse curled on my stomach, my mind could not stop wondering what GOD was up to. A phone call with my World Race representative earlier in the day had told me that I was still just over $1000 short of my first deadline and that without that money in hand I would be unable to participate in Training Camp. Would I get on a bus in the morning, if I could still find a ride to Knoxville by 6 am, only to be asked to return home once arriving in Georgia? Should I still attempt to go or to make a late arrival in faith that the money would be there, or that they would let me participate regardless of my financial position? Or was this the sign that the door had closed? Was I meant to receive these circumstances as GOD’s answer to my questions?
Morning came. A bus left Knoxville with an empty seat. My bag would never know it’s fully packed contents. And my kitten, to my heartbreak, had not survived. Several of my squad members called in the afternoon, and it was hard to hear only the voices of people whose faces I had expected to be seeing for the first time. But despite their encouragement that they really felt I was supposed to be there, and Beanz saying, “Grab a pillow, catch a bus, pray, and then jump!” by that time I had started to realize that this endeavor was probably meant to remain just that. An endeavor.
I want to take this time to express how thankful I am for the support, encouragement, and prayer I’ve received from so many people on this journey. It truly has meant a lot to me. For anyone who has donated financially, please be assured that your money is still supporting a ministry devoted to missions, even if it has not benefited me personally. The journey was a bit shorter than I expected, but I am content with that. All things are still possible with GOD, and any endeavor of His heart is far greater than the endeavors of mine.
As always, it’s been a privilege to share my heart and a part of my story with you. Feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or comments.
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised.
II Corinthians 5:14-15
