Melissa Anne Paape.
Yeah, no doubt about it, that's me.
Family, friend, or acquaintance. Crazy older sister that is your complete opposite (seriously, Heather, we don’t even look alike!). Fellow Encounter Tour teammate (gotta share some love with the Love Tour!). The young woman in church who you thought was moving to California (umm, I’ve been meaning to tell you about that…). Your adopted Ministry Teamer (shout out to Chosen Love!). The girl you’ve been madly in love with since you laid eyes on her (actually, I’d be extremely surprised if that applied to anyone reading this). However it is you know me, may I just say it is a privilege and I am excited to share with you not only a little bit about myself through this blog, but also to share with you this brief journey of my life within the World Race.
Now since this is supposed to be my ‘About Me’ page, I should share with you my vision for it. I could easily post up here the things I like doing (like playing guitar and writing poetry and drinking chai tea in thunderstorms), the foods I like to eat (coffee icecream and honey wheat pretzals), my favorite color (purple!) and all that stuff. But I imagine you'll get to find out those things about me if you continue with me on this journey. So here I want to share with you some things that are…well…closer to who I really am.
I attended four different high schools. I've lived in four different states, and even once on a 'tour bus' for 10 months. Since I was 16, I haven't returned to the same bed at night for longer than 11 months straight. If there's one thing I know, it's a change of scenery. And yet, despite years of my life circumstances fluctuating around me, a spinning hurricane of change, here I am. And to know me is to know the eye of the hurricane, the place where all is still and solid and where consistency has reality. The established center of the revolution. Here forward I share with you the things about me that remain even when all that I am familiar with prefers diversity over persistence.
I love my family.
Family is something I'm passionate about. Hopefully none of my family reading this is surprised by that (because that would mean I'm doing a poor job expressing it, haha). I believe that the role of a family is crucial, in society, in community, in church, and even for the individuals that make up a family. Parenting, marriage, pure and intentional dating relationships, and community are crucial concepts to me, and I strive to do whatever I can to encourage and strengthen these areas in my life (some of which don't apply yet…), in society, and in the lives of people I care about.
My family is close to my heart. Although we're pretty spread out, I could never forget any of them. Mom, sometimes I see bits of you inside of me and it always reminds me how beautiful you are. I'm here for you no matter what. Dad, I respect you so much and I love talking with you. Heather, you're crazy (and I say that affectionately), but a diamond in the rough and I miss you. Bryan, you're a brave and brilliant young man and I wish I had unlimited days to spend being with you. To all my family, I care about you, and I appreciate you in my life.
I like to think of myself as a 'Professional Communicator.'
I can picture a couple people I know rolling their eyes and laughing as they read this and thinking, No, you're just like every other woman in the world who likes talking until they have nothing left to say and being emotional. And I say….maybe. 🙂 However, I think it goes a little deeper than that.
Let's start by breaking down these words. When I say 'Professional,' it doesn't mean I feel I have already achieved a professional career status in communicating. No one pays me to speak to them, I do not nearly have as much experience as Billy Graham or President Obama, and I can't show you any kind of paper to prove that I am certified to so much as express my opinion. Professional doesn't even mean to me that I think I'm good at it. Rather, what I mean by the word is that this is what I feel called to do and called to be with my life. 'Communicating,' whether in speaking, preaching, teaching, song, poetry, writing, blogging, texting, or daily conversation, my agenda and very close to my life purpose is communicating truth and love. At the end of the day, I feel accomplished if I have done this.
If I were to say what 'career' I am striving for, this would end up being one of the closest summaries. Of course, I plan on being an author and speaker, but these are just stepping stones. I generally don't think much about a 'career,' because I care more about who I am rather than what I'm doing, but I've had a couple people ask me how the World Race is going to help me in my career path, or how I feel about where my life is going. I think I'm going to answer those questions in another blog post, so keep your eyes open, but here I'd like to state that anything that contributes to my character and helps me grow in wisdom (i.e. what I anticipate from the World Race) is very valuable to me. I am convinced that this experience will be edifying to who I am, what is burning on my heart to be communicated, and who knows what other doors this route will open before the end.
There is nothing more important to me than GOD.
Yes, I believe He is real. I don’t have all the answers to all the questions (I may barely have a couple, to be honest. Answers, that is. I have tons of questions.). I don’t always understand why life is the way it is either, and some times (more than others) that is difficult. But I can’t let go of the fact that the only good that is in this world is BECAUSE OF and FROM GOD…I cannot see anything good existing without Him existing. So I seek GOD…this GOD who says He is love, and to know love is to know Him…and He promises that those who seek shall find…and there is so much to find out about the incredible, heart wrenching, hope inspiring, fatherly, sacrificially loving and absolutely stunning personality of the One. True. GOD.
I believe Jesus is who He says He is. Yet I also think it’s really tricky these days…tricky because everyone and their mom has their own opinion about Jesus and what He said and what the Bible says. Even among Christians, theological controversies are causing a lot of strife and division these days. I really feel the need to encourage everyone not just to seek what they want to hear or believe about Jesus…but to seek the truth about Him. And don’t be satisfied for less. Trust me when I say there are a lot of people holding (a bit unfairly) a lot against Jesus who would absolutely love to see His reputation destroyed (and they’re trying, hard). Haters gone hate, but please don’t let that hold you back from understanding this man. His passions. His wisdom. His identity.
With everything I've discovered about GOD and about Jesus, it has been my decision that this matters to me. A lot. So much that I've decided to change a bit of my lifestyle (it was time for me to say goodbye to Ludicrous and 50 Cent anyway). So much that I've found my priorities in life had to be rearranged (primarily meaning Myself is supposed to be at the very bottom. He's a climber, though). And in summary, there is nothing more important to me than God.
(intro music)
Look into your heart – you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do – I do it for you
(Thank you, Bryan Adams, for your wonderful insight.)
But in all seriousness, I have decided to follow Jesus the Christ. Completely understanding that He tells His followers, "If any man desires to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." (Luke 9:23) For me, that means sacrifice. Some of my life decisions have reflected that, and ideally, I'm not afraid of continuing to make sacrifices if it means staying where I believe GOD wants me to be. I strive for all of my life decisions to reflect my love of GOD and Jesus.
I am a missionary.
It's a word that I was initially very hesitant to claim over myself. Missionary. We all know what that means. That's someone who spends their life overseas with a new people group, learning thir culture and introducing the gospel of Jesus Christ. So how did I fit under that category?
Well, if that's all the word 'missionary' means to you, then mostly I don't. So when I moved here to Newport, Tennessee, to live with my dad and minister in my community, and people at the soup kitchen I volunteered with started introducing me as, "Melissa, the missionary! She's a missionary to Newport!" I was reluctant to pick up the title. Throughout the last year, I have come to a realization, though. I may not be meant to move to a different country (or to Newport for the rest of my life) to preach the gospel. I may not spend my life overseas, only returning to the states to fundraise my way back. I may not be meant to have the career of a 'missionary' in that sense (we'll see, I guess).
But I am meant to have the character of a missionary.
Paul says in his second letter to the Corinthians, in the fifth chapter: "That is, in Christ GOD was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, GOD making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to GOD."
As Christians, GOD entrusts to US the message of reconciliation. That's responsibility. That's something meant for me.
We are ambassadors of Christ. I am an ambassador of Christ. My lifestyle, my language, my preferences, my heart, my ministry represents Christ (or at least is meant to).
We carry the part of GOD's heart that would plead with every person you know and every person you don't know to be reconciled to Him. To make amends with Him. To know Him, and receive Him. We are meant to be that go-between, that intercessor, that mediator leading to the Great Mediator. We have a part to play in other people's relationships with GOD.
And if I am meant for all these things…if I AM all these things…how am I any different from a missionary, other than minor logistics?
So yes. I am a missionary. The plan was to leave this January with 50-60 other people in a program called the World Race. We would have traveled together to 11 different countries throughout 11 months, a pouring out of our lives for the enrichment of others. However, I will not be leaving with Squad O when they depart in January. It seems my life has once again succumbed to the way of the hurricane and taken yet another unexpected change of direction. But though the direction is always changing, there are still these things that I have shared with you that remain: the eye of the hurricane. The established center of the revolution. It has been a privilege to share with so many of you some of my heart in this blog, and I thank you for your support, prayer, and encouragement. I hope these words have been more than just a way to keep you updated on my life, but an encouragment in some way to you as well.
The journey continues, my friends. And though the World Race will continue on without me, and Squad O go on to serve in countries I may or may not ever step foot in, we together remain ambassadors of Christ. We are aware of the dangers. We are aware of the sacrifices. We are aware there will probably be other things we are not aware of yet. But we are determined to go where GOD desires to lead each of us. And we carry with us what has been entrusted to us by GOD Himself: the message of reconciliation. We are His ambassadors. We are missionaries.
Because being a missionary isn't just a part of our calling.
It's a part of our character.
