I spent the month of October in Cambodia.
It was my 10th month on the race, my second-to-last month on the field before returning home.
We served with an amazing ministry.
To say I loved it would be an understatement. As I sit here in a hotel in Malaysia, before we head to our next ministry site tomorrow, I’m trying to pinpoint exactly why I loved Cambodia so much and why I’m having such a hard time saying goodbye.
I think there are plenty of reasons I could list, copious amounts of pictures of sweet smiling faces I could share, tons of amazing stories I could tell… but honestly, the main reason I was able to fully enjoy this month as much as I did lies in one simple reason: my freedom.
Before you think that’s a selfish and self-centered reason, let me explain…
This month the Lord has been doing some really cool things in my heart. He has been teaching me how to walk in my freedom.
A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog on comparison how detrimental it can be to our faith and our identity. Since then the Lord has been speaking so much truth and life into me and truly solidifying my identity in Him.
As I was praying, thanking the Lord for making me more whole in Him, He said some really cool things to my heart…
“I’ve set you free to love more fully. When you’re walking in your true identity you won’t be focused on your identity at all…you’ll be caught up with what I’m doing and where I’m moving.
Love without agenda, love without need for reciprocation, love with your words, actions and even your thoughts. I am opening your eyes not only to the depths of your soul but into the depths of others. Bring healing to those places. Bring me.
You are set free from the approval of others, set free from the need to perform and people-please. You are created to please me alone and I delight in who you are.
Your freedom isn’t really about you at all…it’s really about me. This freedom sets you free from yourself…Free to be exactly who I created you to be as my image-bearer, staying in my presence and doing my will.”
Freedom from self.
“All the fairest beauties in the human soul, its greatest victories, and its most splendid achievements are always those which no one else knows anything about, or can only dimly guess at. Every inner response of the human heart to Love and every conquest over self-love is a new flower on the tree of Love.”
Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard (Pg 57)
A few days later, the Lord gave me a really cool image about this freedom:
I saw a little person in a valley, chained to one spot, praying for freedom. The Lord came along and broke the chains and freed this person. The person lifted their hands in worship, praising the Lord for freedom…but instead of moving from that spot he remained, standing there in the valley.
“I have created you for the mountain top. Take hold of your freedom and walk in it.”
From the mountain top you gain new perspective…you gain God-perspective. In the valley is where comparison and self-perspective live. Only from the mountain top can we see clearly the things that lie before us.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
Sounds a little redundant, right? Of course it’s for freedom that you set us free…
Then why aren’t we living in it? Why aren’t we walking in it? Why aren’t we joining Him on the mountain top? If we stand still in the valley after being given our freedom, we are allowing ourselves to be susceptible again to that “yoke of slavery.” We’ve got to get out of the valley and begin the trek upward.
This month the Lord got me out of the valley. He is bringing me to the high places.
“Believe steadfastly in what you have seen. Even if the way up to the High Places appears to be obscured and you are led to doubt whether you are following the right path, remember the promise…never doubt that the High Places are there, towering up above you, and be quite sure that whatever happens I mean to bring you up there exactly as I have promised.”
Hinds Feet on High Places (Pg 189)
Free to love. Freed from self. God-perspective.
I loved this month because it wasn’t about me…
It was about Jesus and how He was moving.
It was about loving His beautiful people and filling them with His truth.
It was about denying myself and putting others first.
It was about knowing exactly who I am so that I could finally take my eyes off me.
It was about freedom.
And I loved every minute of it.
