I have experienced the deaths of 2 very special people in my life within the past 4 months.
One of my very close and dear friends passed away right before I left for the race and just recently, my grandmother on my dad’s side, Granny, also went to be with the Lord.
It’s been hard for me to fully process losses like this while I’ve been overseas. It’s easier to get caught up in the day to day, in ministry, in activities with my team and squad…but today I made a difficult choice. I chose to process the grief and spend time with the Lord remembering these 2 beloved people.
Jeanne Magee, my precious friend, passed away at the age of 70.
How were a 24 year old and 70 year old close friends, you ask?…to that I would have to reply: It was truly the Lord.
Margaret Milroy, my Granny, passed away at the age of 82.
As I reflected on each of their lives I couldn’t help but remember all the suffering they both went through.
Jeanne suffered a spinal cord injury in her 30’s due to a surgical error.
She lost both of her legs to above the knee.
2 years ago she was diagnosed with a rare cancer. She defeated it, but went through multiple painful surgeries which left her face disfigured.
She had numerous problems with skin breakdown due to her spinal cord injury.
She lived about 40 years of her life in a wheelchair and about 15 of those years in a nursing home even though she was fully mentally intact.
I don’t think I’ve seen more suffering in any one person in my life.
Yet despite it all, she was filled with a JOY and PEACE that was only from the Lord. I can't even explain it in words.
She set a beautiful example to me in the way she lived, the way she loved and the way she persevered.
One of the most powerful things she ever said to me, as we talked about heaven long before her death, was this: “You know what, Melissa. When I first get to heaven and I get my legs back…you know the first thing I’ll do?” “Dance?” I asked. “No, there will be plenty of time for dancing. The first thing I will do when I get my legs back is fall to my knees before the Lord.” She went on, exclaiming about how good God was and how exciting it would be to be in His Presence…I was floored.
Jeanne truly embodied and lived out this verse:
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Emily and I with Jeanne in 2012
Granny was a wonderful grandmother and a wonderful mother to her 3 children. She was filled with so much love and light. She was sacrificial in her love and set such a wonderful example to those around her about what it meant to love with Christ-like love.
At 68 she began showing signs of dementia, which sadly had a rapid progression.
Around the age of 71 she was placed in a nursing home due to her need for a high level of care.
She lived the next 11 years in a nursing home until her recent passing.
Although for years she could no longer communicate or make eye contact, it was apparent by her numerous visitors how much she was loved and adored.
“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” Psalm 119:50
Granny with her 7 great-grandchildren before she passed away
I’m not even going to try to begin to understand the reasons why some people go through such suffering. All I know is that His ways are higher than mine and there are many things in life I will never understand.
One thing I do know is that our God is one who is well-acquainted with suffering.
Beaten and bruised.
Forced to carry his own cross.
Given a crown of thorns.
Crucified.
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows…he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:3-5
But thankfully crucifixion wasn’t the end.
Yes, our God suffered and died, but then He conquered death.
Processing grief in death is an interesting thing. It’s paradoxical.
There is sadness, yet rejoicing.
There is earthly death, yet eternal life.
There is no fear in death for those who are in Christ. There is no longer defeat in death.
Quite the opposite, there is victory in death because we serve a God who was victorious over death and has promised us entrance into His Kingdom in heaven after this life.
“Death has been swallowed up in victory.
Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
1 Corinthians 15:55
I can rejoice that both Jeanne and Granny are now in heaven with fully restored bodies, both free from suffering.
As I reflected on these women today, I realized the sweet significance and gift of life. Even in their deep suffering they left a beautiful legacy. There is something about reflecting on a life well-lived that makes you want to live your life right, makes you want to leave the same kind of legacy.
I discovered they both embodied a verse that I long to be true of my life:
“I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:1-2
I am deeply grateful for the lives of these 2 precious women.
They are so dearly loved and missed.
I am thankful that they lived out such beautiful stories despite their suffering.
I want to leave that kind of legacy.
I pray that in the end, others will say that I, too, that lived a life worthy of my calling.
