Ever since I was a little girl, people have always had something to say about my body. I’ve never spoken about this to the general public simply because I would tell myself that no one will take a thin girl’s cry seriously. But the older I get, the more I’m realizing that the words that have been thrown at me have significantly affected the way I’ve viewed myself. And I highly doubt that I’m the alone in this.
Growing up Latina, the general expectation is for you to have a curvy body. I have always had a small frame, but I hoped that when as I got older things would change and I’d finally be curvy, just like I was supposed to be. But when puberty came along…not much happened.
I was still skinny. Still flat. Still lacking.
People would (literally) tell me things such as:
“You’re Latina but you don’t really look it.”
“You’re too skinny”
“You need to eat more.”
That may be the reason I still struggle with horrible eating habits to this day. Thankfully, I’ve never fallen into any sort of eating disorders. However, I still tried eating things that would help me gain weight. (That’s probably why Burger King and I have a such a strong relationship. #bae)
When I moved away to college, the first semester I gained just under 20 pounds, not just because I was eating like crap, but because my first semester away from home was extremely stressful. When I went home to visit, SO MANY PEOPLE were so happy with the way I looked.
“You’re looking thicker! That’s so great!”
“This is how you should look!”
“You were too skinny before, you should stay like this.”
Although I’m sure that their intentions weren’t to hurt me, we need a better understanding of what our words can do to others. We don’t have the right to tell people how they are supposed to look. Because that’s just it: there’s no one way that we are supposed to look. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes…and that’s ok! It’s one thing to encourage others to live a healthy lifestyle, however, I’ll say it again, no one has the right to tell people how they should look.
Don’t we frown upon that when the media shoves certain body types in our faces? Why, then, is it ok for us to put each other down?
We need to start speaking life into each other.
I challenge you to tell your neighbor that they are beautiful just the way they are. Start to list the things you love about them. The things that they are GREAT at. Things that they have taught you. Stop looking at people and thinking of how you can fix them. Look at people and think how you can love on them.
We need to be a society that builds people instead of breaking people.
I’m extremely thankful that my mother never, ever made me feel like I needed to change. She always encouraged me to love myself. In the midst of all the negative statements being thrown my way, she reminded me that I was beautiful and didn’t have to change to be happy.
But I realize that a lot of people that struggle with body image issues aren’t as fortunate. If you are reading this and relate, I’m so glad you stumbled upon this blog. I want to be that person for you. If you have no one tell you how amazing you, LET ME TELL YOU!
You are beautiful (and that goes for the men, too! This isn’t just a girl issue!) You are strong. You are beyond awesome. You don’t have to change to make anyone else happy. Your happiness is what matters most. You don’t have to find your happiness in your appearance. You have so many amazing qualities! I can’t WAIT to see how you use the crazy, amazing gifts inside of you! Did you know that you had that in you? You might be the next best-time selling author! Or the next top neurosurgeon! Anything, really! You know why? Because you’re awesome.
The way you look doesn’t make you, you. It’s not your identity. As for me, I find my identity in Christ. He is the source of my happiness. Jesus is the one who freed me from my body image insecurities. He broke the chains that prevented me from loving myself. He tells me EVERY SINGLE DAY that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He tells me that I’m made in His image. And that I was formed in my mother’s womb by HIS hands – THE most imaginative and detailed Creator created ME!
And you know what?
He says the same thing about you, too.
