I heard…
-
To repent for not having pure
motives in some of my friendships, and to be transparent with them. -
To get rid of all of my stuff.
-
To stop fighting getting older.
these things.
wanting to fight back and say no.
by taking the steps to do what was asked of me right away. If
I had more time to think about it then I would chicken out.
needed to, and that was a very humbling experience for me.
The hardest part, was not being able to hear a response from them
(which was part of my instructions). So I
will never really know how they felt or what they must think about
all of this.
do with my smile lines…especially around my eyes. The Lord
has asked me to stop trying to erase the marks of joy that He
has placed there. Why do I feel the need to conform to the what
the world says is beautiful? Why can’t I let Him, the only One whose
opinion matters, show me what true beauty is?
was nothing I could do to take back what I had spoken. I didn’t want
to take it back, I just wanted to take back the part of feeling
awkward and exposed.
good about them….that was harder than I thought. I found
myself in the mall in Thailand, putting eye cream on, (LOL) and
totally got busted by one of the racers, who loved me enough to call
me out. Thank you Amanda! : )
The last part…getting rid of my
stuff was probably the most difficult for me. First, because I
couldn’t really understand why God would ask me to do that. I am not
materialistic at all… I have been living as a missionary for 3
years and all of my belongings fit into a traveling backpack. Not to
mention, I just bought myself a pair of hand-made leather
moccasins (as a birthday present to myself) and didn’t even
get a chance to wear them once. I also brought my ukulele on the
race, and was going to have one of the racers teach me how to play
it. That too had to go.
So as I finally started giving my stuff
away (ukulele, moccasins, ipod, camera, computer, clothes, and
money). I started with the older things first, but realized that I
was still trying to hold on to the new stuff that I bought.
Why?
Why was is so hard for me to give up
stupid material possessions that have no worth?
What was this in me that did not
want to let go, and where did it come from?
His purpose was in this exercise. It wasn’t about the stuff, or the
relationships, or the beauty issues. It was the root behind it. He
began to show me why these things had manifested into my life and
become addictions in a way.
God, but I was still acting like an orphan in many ways.
