I am a little embarrassed to admit that I recently questioned God a lot about what He has called me to do. I had doubts. I pulled on my flesh, and went to God asking if He was sure about what He called me to.
This whole CGA thing. For a whole year. Are you sure, God?
Maybe I should change the length of the program. I can only do one semester. 4 months in Guatemala, instead of a full year. I mean, I have other things to do in America. Other options. I could move to Texas with my little sisters. I could move to Atlanta with my best friend. I could go back to school. Don’t I need to figure out what to do after CGA? I probably should go back to school next fall instead of being out of the country. After all, I am 25. I have to figure this all out.
Seriously, Mel? Where did you come up with all these worries? How did you create all these doubts?
I had to turn off my own voice to hear God’s clearly.
It was so apparent that God had already told me what to do. He already showed me His plan. He was pleased that I was walking in His ways. He flew open doors to reveal the path. He shut other doors that prevented me from following the Way.
And though my mind started questioning, doubting, testing, and shifting, God hasn’t changed.
I think of how often it gets confusing to understand people.
Sometimes it’s tricky to read the sub-text of text messages.
Sometimes we can misinterpret a tone of voice.
Sometimes we question if someone really meant what they said.
Sometimes we don’t know if they were even telling the truth in the first place.
But that’s PEOPLE. Not GOD.
God doesn’t play games with our mind.
God doesn’t send us in multiple directions to fool us.
God doesn’t say something to manipulate us to do the opposite.
God doesn’t tell us something then “change his mind.”
God doesn’t make pro-con lists and reevaluate His ways after the list is made.
God is constant, unchanging, unmistakable, consistent, reliable, truth, unwavering, honest, and always right. He just is. Simple as that.
I can always trust Him. It’s a fact. And I can always trust what He is calling me to.
I have experienced so much confirmation since I’ve e-mailed Adventures and committed to the year long program.
COMMIT- a pledge or promise to do something.
At BCM at Casper College last night, we looked at the calling of the first disciples. They encountered Jesus for the first time when they were fishing. Jesus told them to follow Him and that He will make him them fishers of men. They left everything and followed Him immediately. (Matthew 4:18-22)
When Jesus encounters us, He calls us to something higher, and it requires action on our part, to leave everything and follow Him.
Making that commitment to follow Jesus is supposed to change everything in your life. You say “my life is no longer mine, I am totally yours, your’e everything to me, I surrender myself, make me new, I want to follow you forever.” You commit to belong to Jesus. (Which still blows my mind that I do belong to God. Me! A goofy, dirty, doubting, scared sinner. I can’t believe I have the opportunity to choose Jesus daily).
And that profession changes everything. I’m committed. It’s a promise. And promises are a big deal.
So committing to CGA for a year is a part of my bigger commitment that I’ve made years ago to follow Him.
And that promise is totally safe, and in God’s will because He’s so clearly shown me where He’s calling me.
And He doesn’t send mixed messages that will make me doubt my commitment.
Jesus isn’t like a bad boyfriend.
He’s the best relationship in my life.
