I’ve always been the type of person who is easily convinced of all things that fall into the “worry” or “fear” or “phobia” categories. It’s kind of ridiculous.
During my freshman year of college, my teacher told us about the dangers of high fructose corn syrup. Next thing you know, I am reading the labels on every single thing I eat and avoiding things containing it like the plague. (Very tricky- it’s in SO many things!)
You think that’s bad? That same teacher later told our class about how toxins can be transferred by plastic! I totally freaked out. I looked on the bottom of everything made of plastic to see what number was in those arrow triangle things. I don’t remember, but I think numbers 1, 5 and 6 are bad. You can look it up if you’re curious (though I don’t recommend it if your mind rabbit trails into danger mode like mine).
Basically, I am a worry wart. I am that annoying person who will go to the webMD symptom checker and convince myself I have a deadly disease.
It’s all gotten quite a bit better, but the occasional concern happens. For example, I used to listen to my music really, really loud, until Melissa told me how serious her mom is about not doing that! Your hearing can easily be damaged by those earbuds blasting noise into your ears full force! Now, I listen to my music significantly lower. (Melissa’s mom, if you’re reading, I actually am thankful for this firsthand knowledge, though I may take it a little too serious because of my irrational fear of losing one or more of my senses.)
The other night in team time, Julie asked us to list our fears. We shared a few out loud and then declared truths over them, proclaiming that we will overcome them in the name of Jesus! It was cool to watch the other girls speak so much life over themselves.
But then it was my turn…
I super didn’t want to go. First, I just wasn’t sure about how to declare truth, courage and life over these fears that I listed. Second, my list was really long and I was slightly embarrassed about it. Ranging from irrational fears, to little worries, to being terrified of if things don’t happen in my life, to my haunting concerns rooted in my core.
I shared nearly everything and then asked my team to help me declare life-bringing statements over them.
But did I believe it when I said them?
After that, I remembered what I had just read in Joshua. God commanded Joshua several times to “be strong and courageous.” It’s a command. It’s how God wants us to live our lives. He doesn’t want us to live in fear. He truly is “with us wherever we go” so what is there to be afraid of?
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go”
-Joshua 1:9
This is one of many times that God has to remind Joshua of this command. God has to say it again and again as fear enters Joshua’s mind.
Maybe I needed this reminder. Again.
I’ve been going through the Old Testament and just finished the story of Gideon. Gideon is kinda a scaredy cat. But God uses him in really big ways! God is patient in walking Gideon through the plans that He laid out for him. God understands his fears and even works with them.
“That same night the Lord said to him, ‘Arise, go down against the camp, for I have given it into your hand. But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah your servant.’”
-Judges 7:9-10
And guess what? Gideon went with Purah. Just to hear that God has in fact given them into his hand, like He said.
When God first calls Gideon, the angel of the Lord refers to Gideon as “mighty man of valor” which is ironic because he was hiding in a winepress, afraid of the enemies. (Judges 6:11-12)
God sees the heart. He sees what our hearts are capable of. He can work with the silly things that our minds cause us to believe. God sees us for who we really are, rather than what we may see or believe about ourselves.
He can help us change those thoughts completely and call us into battle, where we learn to put all of our trust in Him and we come out having defeated the very thing we feared.
This is so reassuring to me as I try to navigate my way through my fears. I am working on conquering them and placing full trust in the Lord. But I know that God can still use me in the meantime. And I know that He is commanding me to be courageous, but loves me the same until I get there.
In my weakness, He is strong.
