So, I have a very laid back personality. I worry about things as they approach and don't really think about them too much before that. With this type of outlook, I wasn’t too worried when I had about $1,000 to reach my next deadline and only two weeks to get there. God can totally do anything in 2 weeks, right? Yeah, that’s long enough for God.
Then, as a week passed and my account stayed the same, I realized that one week is not a lot of time and $1,000 is a lot of money! I was ready to use the money I had in my personal account toward my bills, but even then I would still be short a little over $500. With only one week until the deadline, I had a little freak out moment. I was driving home from work and started crying and praying, which quickly turned into bawling and screaming. “God, why is this happening? I thought you wanted me to do this! I thought you were going to provide! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong to make this not work!” Nicole and Aaron saw me when I got home, though I tried to hide my blotchy red cheeks and watery eyes, they knew something was wrong. I told them about how I just spent my drive home yelling at God and how terrible I felt about it. Aaron then told me something that I will always remember- God can take me yelling. He’s tough. But what He can’t take is me not trusting Him. The things I was yelling showed my lack of faith in Him to provide.
Ouch. I realized that I had lost my trust in Him. I had given it all to God a while back. I laid down my finances and my job to Him. I let go of the wheel and allowed Him to take control. But sometime between that time and this last week of November, I had grabbed control again. I just saw “one week” and “$1,000” and thought “NO WAY.” I was in my room praying that night apologizing again and again to God that I let my ridiculous, distorted perspective of time and money cloud my view of how BIG He is and how GOOD He is. I heard Him say, “Melanie, when have I let you down? When did I not provide for you? When did I tell you that I would provide and didn’t follow through?” I cried as I stuttered “never, God. Never. You’ve NEVER let me down.”
Blessing #1
Friday was my progressive dinner fundraiser. It was one day before we had to send in our checks for the deadline. After giving everything back to God, I was relaxed and had an amazing time. It was wonderful to have a time of fellowship with some awesome people from my church that I don’t usually get to sit down with. I loved answering question after question about the race! (That is like my favorite topic of conversation now-a-days). As the night came to an end, I realized that I had no idea how much money was in the donation jar from the dinner. I drove home with the jar in the front seat, thanking God for whatever was in there and for the people that came. I got home and counted it. $1,320!!! Whoa, no way! I cried and smiled so much as I realized how good God is. He provided when His time was right, which, in this case, was the night before I needed to mail in my check. He wasn’t late, He was just in time. His time. Praise, praise, praise to Him!!!
Blessing #2
And just in case I wasn’t overwhelmed enough by God’s awesomeness, He kept blessing me and proving to me that He is my provider. On Sunday at church, God allowed $600 to come in! What?! Seriously God, almost $2,000 in one weekend! How is this happening?
Blessing #3
And then…. I received a check in the mail from an online school that I went to when I lived in Nebraska. (Long story short- it was another failed attempt at going to school and I somehow ened up owing the school over $3,000 for the week that I attended! I had to take out a loan form the bank. I had just finished paying off that loan a few months ago). So, I receive a check in the mail from this school for $1,270. I was so confused and called them up. Turns out I had overpaid and it was a refund check! This was all God. It was literally money from out of nowhere. I hadn’t been enrolled in that school for almost 2 years! How in the world was this happening?! It was truly a miracle from God!
God has blown my mind like crazy over the past few days. He is teaching me that I need to 100% rely on Him and He will bless me. He will never let me down and He knows what is best for me and when it is best for me. God doesn’t have time constraints or restrictions. God doesn’t wear a watch or ever check the time on His iPhone. He does everything when He wants, and THAT is the perfect time for it to happen. I need to continue to trust in Him and try to see His timing. His perfect timing.
