I came into month three preparing my heart to work with an orphanage as well as teaching courses in school. I was absolutely stoked when I was told that this was going to be our ministry for the month. STOKED.
But that is not what The Lord had planned for my team. That is not what The Lord had planned for me.
Within the first few hours of arriving in Jutiapa, Guatemala (Who-Tee-Ah-Pah) and meeting our contact, Javier my team and I discovered that we would be doing something completely different from what we had been originally told. Cue in slight disappointment. Ministry for the month went from one of my strengths: working with children, to one of my weaknesses: public speaking.
For four weeks my team vistited several schools around Jutiapa where we would talk in front of classrooms and/or larger assemblies of students. We shared with the students why we were Jutiapa, we shared with them a bit of our testimonies, we gave advice, we presented the gospel and we prayed for them.
These are a few of the things I spoke about during the times that I shared: 1. Love- talking about my past relationships and how I had allowed guys to treat me as well as define me. That our world has a very skewed idea of what love is and should be but we should not settle for that. We should not settle for anything less than God's standard. Each one of us is loved, cherished and pursued by the Lord and no other love will ever compare. Our hearts were created for relationships and what our hearts so desperately need is a relationship with God. That our value and worth is found ONLY in God and we are complete in him.
2. Children.– I spoke to a room full of mothers about how much of a blessing their children are and how they are gifts from God. I went on to talk about the importance and responsibiliy they have of raising their children in the ways of the Lord. But in order to share the love of Christ with their children they needed to have their own relationship with God first. I stood in front of those women and challenged them to seek the Lord, to read the bible and discover for themselves who the Lord is. I told them that it must be strange that I, a single and childless woman, was talking to them about the importance of raising children and that I found it just strange as well but that, that was what had been placed on my heart to share with them that morning.
3. Finding our identity in the Lord– Friends, family, relationships are excellent and are needed but our relationship with God is far better. Who we are in Christ is more important than who we are to anyone else. So I shared about how God removed me from friendships for a time during college because I had been placing those relationships above my relationship with Him. That while our earthly relationships are wonderful, I needed to be reminded and come to a place where I fully believed that I can trust Him, call out to him, run to him, etc. And that he is the only one who will never let us down.
The more I relied on God to give me the words to say the easier it became to talk. In fact, I even enjoyed it! Each time I stood in front of a group it became easier and easier. Especially after I came to this realization:
During our two day debrief in Antigua at the beginning of the month, O squad spent an evening having worship. The theme that came up during our time was "rest & release".
Rest & recharge.
Rest in the Lord.
Release your anxieties & fears to God.
Release what is holding you back from God.
& that is what we did. We took a moment and gave an opportunity for those who needed to release something a chance to vocalize it. I sat there in the room and listened to my squadmates releasing their fears, their doubt, things from back home, insecurites, etc. And with my heart pounding into my chest, I began speaking. I told God that I was releasing my voice. That I was replacing the lie that what I say does not matter with the truth that my words are powerful & that I would speak boldly.
How insanely cool is it that I declared these things just a few hours before finding out that my ministry for the month would be to speak. How cool is it that the Lord had this planned! Honestly, I could have allowed my disappointment about not working with children ruin my experience and time in Guatemala & I am glad that I got over myself quickly so that I was open to how God wanted to use me this month.
& the Lord still blessed me with several sweet moments throughout the month–giving me my "baby fix" if you will. & I am thankful for the way the Lord reminds me that He knows my hearts. Thankful for the ways blesses us when we step out of our comfort.
"When we release thing to the Lord our hands are then completely open to receive his blessings."
–— Noe Rivera
