After the previous watermelon blog, I came to determine that it is all a matter of perspective. I was focusing on the seeds and how annoying they were and could not get past them to see the beauty and taste the refreshment of its juiciness.
I took the afternoon to spend my time “grieving,” in order to get past my “black” watermelon.
As is the usual, it turned out to be different than I had expected. I thought that a lot of tears and grieving needed to be involved. But as I began to look at the words in my journal, I quickly recognized the need for a new perspective because I was focusing on the wrong part.
I remembered a revelation that a squadmate had shared earlier that morning. Ashley shared that the Lord was speaking with her about the Lord’s work in her life. She stated that she cannot doubt the Lord’s work in her past and in the present but that she fears that whatever is to come is possibly weird, bad, or something she wouldn’t want. And she spoke of the recognition for the need to trust Him, when He has only proven Himself to be faithful to never leave her nor forsake her.
And I realized in that moment, that I needed to get up out of the mire and trust that He has beautiful plans for life!!
In his book Crazy Love, Francis Chan says that when we look toward the future, we often do not see the Lord with us there. And I see truth to this in my life. I have frequently been in fear of the future because I do not readily see Him there with me. Which seems rather silly since He has always been right there with me every step of the way.
These things are surfacing as the Lord continues to confirm the call on my life in very tangible ways, which has been freaking me out because I don’t trust enough that He will provide for me and be with me through it all.
So, anyways, that is where I am today.
This roller coaster they call The World Race is beyond anything I would ever have said “yes!” to on my own, but I am so thankful that He called me out of my corner to step into center stage.
