During a team meeting on Thursday morning, I found myself volunteering to “preach” at the church service that evening. I prefer to call it a “speaking engagement,” but nevertheless, I had agreed to speak in front of people, which I do NOT like to do.
As usual, I approached the Lord with a plan in mind, but as usual, He had His own plan…. It always seems to work that way! One of these days, I will realize that I just need to let Him tell me what to do rather than waste time trying to plan it myself!
During the afternoon and as I walked into town, I found myself multiple times asking “What the heck was I thinking!? I can´t do this!!” Yet, I trudged on into town and to Iglesia Salim where I was the first to arrive.
As my fellow squad members arrived and began asking how I was doing, I mentioned that I was rather terrified at the prospect of speaking in front of people. One girl immediately stated, ¨You just dive right into everything feet first! First the World Race when you have never been international before and now you just jump right into something else that you fear.” I found myself responding by saying, “I recognize that I am going to just have to get past myself and realize that I have to do this, so I might as well get the ´first time´ over with!”
It was in that moment that I realized how much the Lord has been changing me. Where there used to be fear and trepidation that kept me in the background, I find myself propelling through the fears that have kept me bound and am experiencing more and more freedom.
After the service, several people came up to me and mentioned that it was “beautiful” and “from the heart.” Amy, a fellow 5 Aliver, mentioned that I seemed so “natural” up there!! It was weird for me to hear these comments because in my mind, I am not a natural speaker and don´t like to be in front of people. What I am realizing is that I have believed too many lies about who I am and how people perceive me that I had myself convinced that people wouldn´t want to hear my story nor want to listen to me. 
As I was processing this with the Lord later that night, I realized the enormity of the situation. I had actually laughed in the face of my giants by willingly offering to stand before people AND to “preach.” Praise the Lord, for He is so good to me!! He is teaching me to humble myself before Him, press through the fear and experience the blessings and joy of being out of my comfort zone.
In my mind, all that I did was stand before them, share portions of my story, and incorporate scripture into it. That was it. There was nothing spectacular about it. Yet, God used my story to touch people and to teach me about His love. What a beautiful God we serve!!
