Yesterday, as I was thinking about trust and worrying less, three financial bombs dropped into my lap. One of those being that the first deadline for my World Race has moved up by 2 weeks! My first reaction was to panic. Hmm, sounds like quite the opposite of everything I wrote about in my last blog only one day earlier. What happened to the trust? What happened to the peace?
I have received many generous donations and my goal is getting closer to being reached every day. The support I have received has been incredible. Not only in financial support, but also through daily encouragement, prayers, and friends helping to spread the word about this mission. So why the panic?
When I saw the new deadline date, and saw the number I still need, worry came over me and so began the battle within. What if I don’t raise enough? God will provide. What if this isn’t what God wants? God has great plans for me. What will I do if I don’t go in January? Do not be anxious about anything. I’ve sent letters, made phone calls, sold T-shirts, sang in churches, planned two other events, and what if it doesn’t all come together for me?
I’ve read this blog before. The blog about planning and trying and still needing more.
The one that says, “I can’t do this!”. The one that talks about being completely overwhelmed.
The blog filled with doubt.
Well, only a few short months into this process and I’ve already botched it. I’ve been warned that this might happen and here I am writing this very blog. I’m admitting that I’ve been trying to plan and speak and reach people on my own. I’m admitting that I’m tired and discouraged. Fundraising is exhausting! Well, God is telling me that I’m exhausted because this is not how fundraising works. This is not about anything I do or don’t do. And, I know this. I’ve learned this already. This trip that I am raising money for, is for ministry. Although I know God will shape me into something greater, this is ultimately not about me. This is about Him. So why do I continue to have moments of doubt? Why do I second guess His plans? Although my heart knows the truth, my head does not always listen.
I often need to be reminded of who God is. God is our perfect rest (Matthew 11:28-30). God is hope, not doubt. God is peace, not fear. God is life, not defeat. So here’s to listening. Here’s to deep breaths and deep trust. God has brought me through many obstacles in this past year alone and He hasn’t once failed me. God is not failure. Why should I think for even a second that He might change who He is? (Hebrews 13:8)
So, with that, I am (once again) giving up this ministry to Him. I am giving up my deadlines and giving up my finances. And I am trusting that whatever happens, happens according to His plan. No, I’m not going to stop planning events or reaching out to my loved ones, but I am going to put prayer first on my fundraising checklist and throw worry out the door. Because no matter how hard I work, unless God is the ultimate “doer” in this mission, nothing is going to happen. I believe He has called me into this for a purpose, so I believe that He will provide every need. I am not naïve enough to think that these fears and doubts won’t try to creep back in, so this decision to choose peace over panic will be a daily commitment. Thank you to those who continually encourage me toward this very thing!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will direct your paths” – Proverbs 3:5
“And my God will supply all your needs according to
His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” – Philippians 4:19
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares The Lord,
‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11
I have been extremely blessed with every donation I have received so far. I am very thankful for all of the many people who have been partners along with me on this journey. It really has been an unbelievable experience already! I have seen first hand that fundraising is an opportunity to bring others into this ministry with me. It is an invitation to step out and give to something greater than ourselves. It is a partnership—a friendship. Not only have I been rewarded in this, but I have seen that God is blessing those who have blessed me.
Your generosity, faithful prayers, and constant encouragement mean the world to me! Thank you for being open to how God is leading you to move throughout His ministry. I hope that you feel blessed! Know that you are making a difference in this world, and that you are making a difference in my world.
Much love,
MJ ♥
*DEADLINE MOVED UP* My first financial deadline has been moved up by two weeks! I now need $3,000 in my WR account by September 26th! This means that I need $2,240 in the next 9 weeks!
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If every Facebook friend gave $2.07 I will reach my goal
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If every Cross Point Church attendant gave 45¢I will reach my goal
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If 25 people give on $10 Tuesdays for the next 9 weeks I will reach my goal
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If I sell 80 T-shirts, I will reach half of my goal
Every little bit helps me in a big way! Thank you SO much to everyone who is supporting me! Whether through prayer, donating funds, purchasing a T-shirt, or spreading the word to your loved ones, every one of you is a blessing to me! I have raised $1600 so far and I know the Lord will continue to provide!
