Most apartments these days don’t have overhead lighting. You have to have lamps and wall sconces and all kinds of fancy things that you can buy from IKEA. In apartment A3 even when she didn’t live there and wasn’t paying the electric bill, Stacy Joy would ALWAYS turn the lights on:
“Why are you sitting in the dark?” she’d ask.
Well, Stacy Joy, that’s actually a pretty good question.
This month we are living at the center where we teach English. And at night with the metal door down it’s pitch black. So, in the morning when we walk outside to go running our eyes always have major adjusting to do (I’m also wearing contacts for the first time on the race and am in DESPERATE need of a pair of sunglasses.)
So here is my month 11 realization: We have 28 days to go. About 2 weeks left of ministry and then the first week of December is major final debrief celebration.
I’ve gotten a lot out this year.
Joy, laughter, vision, happiness
Pain, hurt, heartache, loss.
But once again: it’s month 11 and there is still more.
I came on the race with a lot of stuff around me that I had walked through. With so much pain that I had walked through.
I just didn’t realize how much further I had to go.
I didn’t realize that I was sitting in the dark.
I’ve been moving further and further into God’s perfect peace on the race. I’ve been edging closer to the blinding light of Christ.
And just like the adjusting my eyes have to do each time I walk out into the light, my being has to adjust. And with each step closer into that ring of light I realize where the darkness and pain is hiding in my life.
And as I, with the help of Jesus, expel that darkness from my life I feel the comforting presence of his spirit and realize how much our Father grieves our hurt with us.
And I find peace in that.
That no matter what darkness I have to walk through, no matter what pain and what hurt; Christ will comfort me, He will wipe my tears.
The light can seem harder than the darkness. Dealing with things, walking paths that seem rocky, being blinded by the glaring difference between the dark and light.
But if you let your eyes adjust you can walk farther into the light, closer to Christ.
The darkness is the easy way.
It’s sleepy.
Hours can pass without knowing.
Years can and have passed without realizing that you are sitting in the muck.
Back in 2008, when I wanted to end it all, when I just wanting to be in heaven, when the pain was too much; Christ showed me a dark room with a single nightlight in the corner.
My eyes wouldn’t have been able to handle a fully lit room. I couldn’t have handled the light in that moment.
He knew I just needed a little light to get through.
But this year, He’s blinded me with His light. He’s calling me out.
He’s calling me to live completely in the light.
We need light in our life.
We need CHRIST light in our life.
Choose to not sit in the darkness today. Even if it’s a night light of His love, comfort and peace, sit in it.
