There is a running joke in most Christian communities about praying for patience. You don’t pray for patience because it’s not that God will just bless you with patience: He will put you in situations in which you need to HAVE patience. So that your capacity to be patient expands.
A week or so ago I wrote a blog about how I felt that God was really calling me out of my comfort zone in order to see Him more.
Apparently that blog was the equivalent of me praying for patience.
On our last night in Lima my squad leader Joshua asked me to come chat with him. Now if I am being completely honest my heart froze a bit. At this point at the end of debrief there had already been SO many changes [or so it felt]
And then he straightforwardly asked me to do the LAST thing I EVER thought I would do on the race.
Be the team Finance person.
WHAT?
You have GOT to be kidding me.
[he wasn’t]
Here’s the funny thing: Yes, I am the person who splits the bill between the 8 girls when we go out to dinner. But for the most part do you know what my mantra is?
I don’t do math.
My high school math teachers would probably DIE laughing if they heard I was the team finance person.
So back to my conversation with Joshua.
I really, really, really wanted to say No.
With everything in my being.
Except I knew I wasn’t supposed too.
I needed to say yes. I was supposed to say yes.
Gah.
Really Jesus?
I will do anything else. I will be in charge of cleaning the bathrooms for the next year.
I will cook every night.
Anything.
I gave the christian-ese answer to Joshua. “Can I pray about it?”
Even though I knew in my heart I was supposed to pray. I was just supposed to DO.
So we chatted a bit more about random things.
And I then just blurted it out.
“I’ll do it. I know I’m supposed too. I just don’t necessarily WANT too”
So the morning of the 7th [on a travel day] I started my journey as the finance person for my team.
I’m still getting the hang of it. Still trying to figure out when I have to do what. Still a little bit scared.
Still a TON uncomfortable.
But I know it’s ok.
I know God has me here for a reason- even if it ends up being just for a short season.
I’m literally living in a state of discomfort each day.
And I know eventually I won’t be uncomfortable in this. That it will be common place every day.
I’m not there yet.
That’s all I have for now. I’m currently sitting in front of a fan in the sanctuary of the church we are living in. It’s hot, dirty, and pretty much amazing. We are living in our tents or just on our sleeping mats on the cement. The water doesn’t work most mornings and we have no refrigeration for food (meaning we are eating a lot of eggs and fruits/veggies) The community of people at the church are incredibly loving. Pastor Nestor and his family are beyond words. This is our shortest month of ministry [thus far and probably the whole race]. This is mainly because we have to leave early in the month to meet the rest of our squad in Bolivia so we can all head out to our next continent together!
Thank you for your prayers, support and love. I am about $2,000 away from my next deadline which is April 1rst. If you would like give please click support!.
