All month I kept telling myself and my team, "It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year!!" I was becoming so frustrated because I had several people tell me how amazing Christmas in the Philippines was, and because it is primarily a Catholic country how big Christmas celebrations were. I was PUMPED coming into the month!! I had so many expectations of what the month would look like!! And I was disappointed!
A few nights before Christmas I spent time walking around the village with God complaining on how I wanted it to feel like Christmas. Here is the conversation that followed.
Me: God, I just want it to feel like Christmas. And I feel like a broken record telling you this several times a day.
God: My daughter, I am listening. What makes it feel like Christmas?
Me: Cold weather, lights, Christmas trees, parties with friends, food, family, baking Christmas cookies, going to the Grove Park Inn, traditions, Christmas songs on every radio station, Christmas movies, presents, Christmas plays at church.
God: The first Christmas was none of that.
And with that He had my attention.
I reread the Christmas story like we always do as a family, this time I read it alone. I changed my prayer and prayed that God would show me what the first Christmas was really like. I needed a reality check and a heart check.
Christmas Eve we went Christmas caroling around our village giving food to the poorest families. We walked down a dark "alley" to this one shack. The man that lived there is a single father to four children. Their shack has no running water, no electricity. There are more open spaces in the floor than there is floor, and more open spaces in the ceiling than there is ceiling to protect them from the rain. There was something dripping on us as we stood there singing, the odor was nausating, something was running around at our feet (however, it was too dark to see I'm pretty sure it was rats). When we finished singing we asked the man if we could pray for him and his family. After we prayed we asked if he knew Jesus. He said no so we told him about Jesus, and about the love of God.
In the dark, wet, smelly alley way on Christmas Eve 2012 a new life was born!! A life that will never end, a life that will live for eternity in the presence of God our Creator!! And in that moment, God spoke to me through my tear filled eyes. He said, "This is what Christmas is about. Christmas is about the life that was born so that others could live. It wasn't pleasant for Mary and Joseph. They were in a cave filled with sheep poop, rats running around, and it smelled bad. They were scared and alone. They had no one but Me, and I was enough for them. My daughter you have experienced Christmas for the first time in your life."
As I walked back to our house that night I sang a new song in my heart. A Christmas song I've never known before. Praise God for giving us His Son!! Praise God for giving me life 12 years ago!! Praise God for giving this precious man life on Christmas Eve!!
