“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. Lao Tzu
This past May, I went on my first missions trip to Mexico. And in that orphanage something awoke inside me that I had chosen to make dormant for a long time. I felt things, experienced things that I had thus far not experienced in life. I understood for the first time maybe ever what it looked and felt like to experience the power of the Holy Spirit inside me. There was a freedom that I had only ever envisioned for my life. There was community created with the most unlikely of people. There was a courage, a strength, a confidence in me that felt so foreign yet so true at the same time. I finally knew where I belonged.
Coming home, I felt lost. I had been forever changed and I could not figure out how to translate who I had become into this life I no longer fit into. The things that were once important to me just did not seem to carry the same weight. I came back searching for another mission trip but kept coming up short. Underneath this desperation to get back to a place that “needed” my light, I knew that it just wasn’t right yet. During this time, a very wise woman told me that I had to be able to live that way, to let the Holy Spirit work freely through me, right here where God had placed me. I must learn that I don’t need to go anywhere to be used by Jesus.
And Jesus did some incredible work in me during the months that followed. He broke through barriers that I honestly did not even know I had put up. He healed pieces of me that were holding me back from living the life He had created me for; from being the person that I wanted to be. I had still been searching for something that only He could fill. I needed to learn to trust the lover of my soul with the deepest and most desperate desires of my heart, knowing that He put them there in the first place. Life changed when I made the simple yet so difficult decision to trust Him. I started to see Jesus everywhere-in everything that I did, in everyone that I came into contact with. I felt renewed energy and appreciation for my job. I plugged into my small group and felt a sense of community that I had been longing for. I grew to love the city I live in. I renewed old friendships and made new ones. I was starting to feel content and comfortable in my life once again.
Then one night, my God came in and flipped my world upside down. That desperation, that hope, that longing awoke within me again. I felt that soft, still whisper telling me that I was to search one more time for a missions trip. So, I went home, opened up my laptop and searched. The first option that appeared was something called The World Race. I had searched countless times for missions trip and this was the first time I had ever seen this. I opened it and tears immediately came to my eyes. If I were to create my dream trip, this was it. And I knew, I knew that this was what I was being called to do.
So, here I am, on the edge of an epic journey, a great adventure. I don’t know how it’s all going to play out. I don’t understand how this is all going to come together. But, what I do know eradicates all of the questions, all the doubts that try to creep their way in to the forefront of my mind–I know who my God is and He is always good. He has promised to be with me and watch over me wherever I go (Genesis 28:15). To meet all of my needs according to HIS glorious riches (Philippians 4:19). I finally believe that He who is he says He is. And I now know that I am who He says I am. I am ready to jump, to make the big leap, knowing that there is a strong net that will catch me, enveloping me in love and security.
This journey of a thousand miles, it all started with one step.
