"When I am tempted, I discover it's most often
right before divine appointments with people."
It's real. The tension, the battle, the pull, the war. Spiritual warfare is real. And I have never experienced it quite like this before. This intense, this powerful, where it's crippling and destroying everything in it's path. Whether physically, emotionally or spiritually, I can fully feel the war that Satan is battling within me.
These past few weeks, I have seen him weasel his way into my life. He has destroyed close relationships by impairing healthy communication and replacing love with aggression. He has crept into my family and tried to break down the strongest, closest support system I have. He has festered doubts and questions in my mind, testing the deepness of my faith and the trust I have in whom my Father says He is. He has tempted me with disbelief, making me question myself for believing in a Relationship where I don't have all the answers. He has allowed all this anxiety to poison my body, making it almost impossible to consume food without getting sick or having intense stomach pains. He has attacked my mind, emotions and flesh and last night was no different.
Not even an hour into my sleep, I woke up shaking, weeping and completely paralyzed by fear. He had done it again but this time, more intense and visual than ever before. A night terror where Satan himself appeared and kidnapping and torture were not too far to follow. The heaviness in my room once I woke left me breathless, unable to move or call out. I could literally feel his presence suffocating me and filling every corner of the room. Overwhelming fear consumed me. I was soon able to grab my phone and in my desperation, call the house phone to wake my parents. Needless to say, I did not sleep by myself for the rest of the night [or sleep at all for that matter].
But Satan, I have a few words for you.
I won't be your casualty.
I won't lose this battle.
Because my God is with me.
And He has already won.
You have been defeated.
AND MY FATHER REIGNS.
So in full confidence, I will continue to wake up every morning and put on the armor of the Lord. Through the struggles and the fears, I will cling with all that's in me to His goodness and promises that I can firmly stand on. His Spirit will continue to live in me and His power will be manifested through me. I will delight in the struggles, I will take joy in the fight for that means there's a great appointing about to happen. That the Lord has plans for me that will be fulfilled through His power and protection. So keep fighting Satan, keep knocking me down so the power of my God can be glorified even bigger.
"The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.
The grace of our Lord Christ Jesus be with you." Romans 16:20
I ask you all as my supporters and followers that you would pray protection over me for these last two weeks. As much as I would love financial support, I first and foremost plead for your prayers for this is where the battle is won or lost. Prayers that Satan would have no foothold in my life and the physical, emotional and spiritual wounds would be healed in Jesus's name. Prayers for all-consuming peace, unswerving faith and binding trust. Prayers that His power would be glorified in this battle and His goodness shown.
Love you all.
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