I’m not anything special. No, this isn’t one of those low-self esteem moments. I mean quite literally that I am not any more special than you. Sure, I have creative moments, a sparkly smile, and contagious energy. But we were all hand crafted by the Original Artist. Which means that neither you nor I are any more unique or worthy than the person sitting next to us. I definitely have moments driving down the road when I see weirdo’s on the street and I think, “Geez God, You sure made some odd ones.” But you never know who the next broken-person-turned-Christian-icon is going to be. He loves the weirdo’s just as much as He loves you and me.
Going on the World Race is kinda pointless. I see my local God-loving community working wonders for homeless people here in Sacramento. When I pray for opportunities to witness at work, He never ceases to drop them in my lap. It’s not even hard—people ask about the cross around my neck or I feel the nudge to offer prayer (and so far they’ve always graciously accepted). So why leave? What’s the point?
Because I still feel like I’m in control. I have shifts at work, gym time, Bible studies, church-on-Sunday, and a social life. Very rarely am I derailed from my daily agenda. But, truly, we are on borrowed time. We don’t know when we’ll suffer our next life-altering situation: a broken leg, job loss, or death in the family. We can’t control other people’s behaviors, and sometimes I feel like I can’t even control myself.
Until we clear our schedules and relinquish the desire to regulate every second of our daily lives, we aren’t really surrendered to Him and his divine purpose for us. How could we be? We’re still in the delusion that we can micromanage our lives.
On the Race, I won’t have a schedule—just helping out with whatever each ministry needs on a day-to-day basis. I’ll be completely out of control. Of course part of me is excited to help other people, but it’s selfish too. I’m going because I know there’s an opportunity for my own gigantic spiritual growth spurt. By carving out 334 unplanned days to spend with my Maker, I can embrace a newfound lifestyle:
Uncontrollable.
