I’ve heard all year that you can deal with only the stuff on top. You can’t just pull something from the bottom of the stack to fix; each thing has its own time.
My squad mentor says it another way. Emotions have a seat at the table, but they don’t get the head. Emotions are invited to dinner, but they don’t get to dominate the evening. Yesterday she encouraged me to actually invite my emotions to the table. Those chairs are not pulled up yet. I seemed to be hovering in the in-between.
It was true.
I hadn’t allowed myself to feel the heartbreak, hurt, grief, and sorrow since I’ve returned. Since I wouldn’t let myself feel the “bad” things, I couldn’t feel the “good” things fully. The joy, excitement, love, and peace were muted because they had no counterpoint.
So I’m inviting it all to the table. That’s the only way I can ever hear each piece and then see each emotion on its way.
I welcome you heartbreak, joy, hurt, excitement, grief, love, sorrow, and peace. You all have a place at the table. I will hear each one.
Disappointed expectations and new opportunities will both have their say. Denied possibilities and renewed relationships will both be heard. Hard tensions and simple joys are both welcome.
So welcome to the table. Share your story, but know Christ is and always will be the head of my table and my life.
Even in the midst of all my emotions I know the Truth. My Savior, Jesus Christ, came into the world to facilitate ultimate redemption. I am called through that redemption to be a living sacrifice for the gospel. I have a promise of eternal life. I’m holding to the truth and the promise of Jesus. He is faithful.
This week has been a great reminder of what work I need to do and what is true. I’ve also been afforded a safe space and good community in order to begin working.
I might not be any closer to making decisions about all that is next but I am refocused on the truth of Jesus.
