The title of this blog might have thrown you off guard, well GOOD, I got your attention.
The title of my blog is actually quite a funny joke for our group out here in Quito, but then God spoke to me another way about it. So first, here is the Quito story behind it –>
Individual space is not, I repeat NOT a privilege in Quito. We take the trole system almost everyday out here to get around the city, and they cram that thing to the brink. I’m talking body parts hanging out of the windows and perfect strangers faces’ in your armpit (or vice versa). Here’s the thing though, the trole is absolutely never empty, it is always packed beyond belief, and well we have places to be! So what do you do when the trole is so full it looks like not another soul could even begin to fit on it? You push, bite, shove, whatever it takes to get on that flippin’ trole!
I really wish I had a picture to show you all, but it would be an absolute impossible task to try and use any of my body parts while inside of the trole, which includes picture taking, so alas no picture.
Now here is what God spoke to me about this phrase–>
When I entered into my last semester of (on-campus) time at Trinity in the fall the questions of, “what next? what’s after your bsw?” began popping up. Going to Quito was already a huge leap of faith and I thought I had an idea of where God would take me after my time in Ecuador. I knew for sure that I needed a break from school. There is a potential God will call me to pursue my Masters in Social Work, but by-golly NOT YET. My brother had attended a ministry school called Bethel School of Ministry in Redding, California that I was seriously considering doing my first year out of college; and if not Bethel then I was also considering IHOP (International house of prayer; not pancakes 😉 ). But I felt God say not yet to both of those. I knew I was desperately hungry for discipleship and I knew I was also hungry to serve and do ministry work, so where God?!?
I knew a couple of people who had gone on the World Race and thought it was a really cool opportunity, but not something God would ever call ME too! I’m not equipped enough for a trip like that. There is NO WAY I could raise that kind of money. Who would possibly want to donate money to me?
Boy, was I wrong.
I spent hours and hours immersing myself in youtube videos of ministry work through the world race and reading hundreds of world racers blogs. I would just sit in my room and weep at what God was doing through that ministry. I also spent hours chatting with friends, family, previous world racers and alumni about it, and sought out wisdom in their thoughts on this opportunity. And then I spent hours praying and asking God for affirmation after affirmation. I knew it was a crazy thing He was calling me too because for 4 months prior to leaving I would be living in Quito, Ecuador, thats almost 1.5 years out of the country and away from my family! But for the first time I felt peace.
That still wasn’t enough though. I didn’t just want to FEEL like I was supposed to go, I wanted to KNOW. I wanted God to provide in miraculous ways to meet my financial needs. I wanted God to bring people into my life who would speak wisdom into my life about this trip. I wanted Him to push, *maybe not bite*, shove; whatever it took to send me to the next place He was calling me too.
Ah, now you see where I am going.
In my short two years of walking with Jesus, one thing I have really discovered, is our relationship with the Father of the earth is NOT based off of feelings. In fact, as Children of God, we have complete and utter authority over our feelings. You know those moments when you feel anger or frustration welled up inside of you and you think you are about to explode? In those moments say thank you Holy Spirit that you live inside of me and never leave me and you are ALWAYS joy, and because you live in me I have 100% access to the fruits of the spirit and declare joy to reign over my life in this moment.
This lesson has taught me to maintain my emotions and act in a controlled manner. And let me be the first to tell you, I was absolutely not that way two years ago, I let anger dictate and control my life.
The second reason this lesson is so important to my life, is because I have discovered that just because I am feeling a certain way about something, doesn’t always necessarily mean I should base my decisions solely off that feeling. I know to follow Christ because of obedience, I know to follow Christ because the Word of God is truth, I know to follow Christ because He literally transformed my life and flipped it inside out. So even on those days I don’t feel like serving Him, I am going to serve Him, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is God and He is good and nothing can change my mind about that.
So this call that He has given me, isn’t just a feeling I have. It’s a mandate.
“He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” Mark 16:15
“Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.” Matthew 10:6-8
This is a command from Jesus to GO, and so I go.
Here are some quick testimonies to attest to God’s provision and assurance in the place He has me currently and in the direction He is sending me into.
- A divine conversation with someone I was working with in the nursery at my Church over winter break, went to REI and bought me a brand new pair of Chacos (those are like $100)
- Several anonymous donations, one in particular left on my bed at Trinity
- My young adults group. Everything about them is a blessing and the way they sent me off with love and support is inexpressible. They also allowed me to share my testimony and to me, it felt like one of the worst messages I’ve ever given. I felt like I was stumbling over my words and making a mess of myself, but God used me to touch hearts of people and I received a lot of affirmation and encouragement that evening.
- The people in Quito who have been such a tremendous blessing and encouragement and in the three weeks I’ve been here it already feels like we are family.
- My RC (which is like an R.A.) who lives with me and 13 girls in our apartment previously went on the world race AND was a world race squad leader.
- God’s been giving me a burning hunger to spend more alone time with Him than ever before and I believe He is speaking to me and working through me in new ways.
These are just to name a few.
Now, of course, I have to still do some fundraising during my time in Quito, but God has provided in tremendous ways already. If this is something you feel led to do there is a “support me” tab that will walk you through the process to donate. And here is a HUGE Thank YOU! To my supporters, loyal friends and family who believe in my heart and where God is sending me. You play such a vital role in my story and I wouldn’t have made it this far without any of you.
I hope this is an encouragement to some of you to start listening for the voice of the Lord differently and seeking His will for your life in ways other than just feelings!
Lastly, a group of 40 of us leave for the Jungle Thursday morning. Lift us up in prayer as we spend a weekend of VBS, manual labor, and other cool ministry opportunities that God would use us and we would continue to grow!
Te amo tanto.
