If my life is once surrendered, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in HIS hand but would be safer in mine!
-Elizabeth Elliot
I came home running.
I was honestly afraid to stop. I was afraid to come home, of being home, of becoming the person I remembered being when I was at home.
Within a few days of being back in America, I think I noticed how much I don’t fit in here. I avoided pretty much everything, stopped running and effectively crash landed on the couch. Not wanting to think, listen, ask, or share.
Praise the Lord for caring parents.
My one desire in coming home has been to be mentored, to be poured back into, to try to figure out what just happened to me and to prepare for what’s next while fully living in the moment.
My one prayer in coming home has been “Father, Help me. I’m lost.” I went through phases of not being myself, I’ve been selfish, in many ways I’ve felt like a hypocrite, that I’ve failed in some way of just being home. I even had a conversation with God about not liking Him at the moment. … That was a good one. He messed up a lot of my plans and I thought he should know …..
The World Race talks a lot about brokenness and I think it’s through that brokenness that the Lord chooses to work.
And so I was/am left with my brokenness and God is continuing to work.
Amazingly enough I have been given an opportunity of employment as an RN in a hospital in Gainesville, GA and in September I will be attending the Center for Global Action (CGA) a program through Adventures in Missions: a mentorship program for world race alumni. Which is just amazingly perfect.
I learned from my time in Romania that if you ask for a purpose; He will give you one. If you don’t know what to do tomorrow, first trust Him with today. And as always, be willing, say yes. I’m coming back to a place where I’m ready to ask, listen, and obey, which is more than I can say now than a month ago.
The Lord’s Provision is humbling. He knows your needs.
Currently, I’m living Indianapolis, IN and I’ll be home for the holidays. I'd love to see you before I leave again at the beginning of January. My numbers: 260.215.2125
Father, I pray that all who read this find your peace. Amen
