I spent a year working at a local VA hospital during college as a student nurse. That year I saw the destructive qualities of diabetes. I saw men beginning to lose their eye sight, their kidney function, and wounds that refused to heal. Becoming so infected amputation became necessary despite being in the hospital setting with around the clock care. I met this guy with diabetes this month in not so nice a setting and as a result all I am doing about it is writing a blog. Yes that frustrates me. It frustrates me a lot.
I think what I hate most about Diabetes is that it doesn’t just affect the eyes, kidneys, or nervous system it changes peoples perspectives on life. It preys on a person’s weaknesses so much so many continue to live in the life style that first gave them the disease. Choices in the diabetic world become few and far between when infection is involved.
At the VA I saw men who had gone through war lose their will to fight against this disease. This controllable/ preventable disease that goes unnoticed so often/disregarded until it has already done it’s damaged.
The organization here runs a feeding program out of the back of a van every day/twice a day and everyday to a different neighborhood. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you “Kids Against Hunger” for donating a truck load of food, I didn’t mind unloading it at all.
The first feeding I was a part of this month in the Philippines we started driving through this nice neighborhood, nicely decorated patios, healthy dogs being led on leashes by well groomed/healthy looking owners….I had no idea where we were going, since it appeared to be a nice area…Generally free food is given to the poor. Right?
We stopped at the edge of this neighborhood. Where we were going, the road doesn’t. We started walking a cemented side walk that quickly narrowed to a dirt path. Calling “Feeding, Feeding, feeding…” to all as we walked to the site. The village we arrived at in the backyard of the rich, were people gathered playing basketball barefoot on a dirt court, children playing gambling games they’ve seen their parents taking part in, and the court lined with on lookers (it’s ironic the scene of community there as opposed to the rich silent lonely neighborhood we just drove through).
Rona (the nurse that goes to every feeding to do first aid) took us to this man’s home. By home I mean metal make shift structure, with dirt floor.
The man’s big toe was black and his foot swollen and red with infection. I’m told it started as a mosquito bite and diabetes and his living conditions turned it into this….
(It's gotten worse)
As soon as I heard the word diabetes I knew nothing we did that day with our bandages and cleaning solution was going to touch it and memories of defeat of all the limbs lost at the VA rushed into my mind. I gathered my team to pray for this man and I wish I could tell you that his foot was miraculously healed. That what once was a rotting, decaying, infected foot was made whole.
But it wasn’t and I struggle with that.
I’m back again to the question of Why even pray anymore for healing? I have had too many patients and friends who have not been healed. Who have lived and died seemingly with my prayers falling on deaf ears. My questions and doubt don’t sit well with me either. I desire the faith of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3 when they won’t bow down to the idol and are about to be thrown into a blazing furnace when they stated: “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power. But even if he doesn’t, you can be sure that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”
Ps. they were saved.
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose”
Jim Elliot
I haven’t seen this man since then due to circumstances I couldn’t control. But that man and his situation is never far from my mind. The last update I received was that he went to the doctor like we told him. The doctor stated he needs his foot amputated and to be placed on regular diabetic medication. And the man said he’d rather die so his family could have more food.
This man is poor and poverty sucks.
It robs you of the belief that you have choices. It places you in lose-lose situations. This man doesn’t want his foot amputated not because he wouldn’t be able to work (which is true), would decrease his quality of life (which is true), but because he believes if he dies his family would be better off without him. How the devil works in lies that we so easily fall prey to.
I know I’m prone to believe in lies about myself but I refuse to believe in the lies that are in this place… Girls needing to sell their body for money, because they believe the lie there is no other option to be able to provide for themselves aka eat. Grown men believing the lie it would be better to die so their family can have more food. Although once they die would that not leave there remaining to believe the first lie about needing to sell their bodies? Small children believing the lie to remain silent about their abuse because their abuser will hurt their family. Countless believing the lie that they are unwanted, cast of, and unworthy of love. Believing the lie that there is no choice and doubting in a future that could be any different. This place is scary and the least of these is a man sitting at home waiting to die.
I would give all I have to amputate this man’s foot, resulting most likely in an early return stateside for myself and not a cure for this man. God, amputating won’t fix the problem. It’s a band aid on a gunshot wound. Please Heal. Please join me in this cry to restore this man’s desire to live and a way to live. We are more than the lies of this world. My God is able to save and even if he doesn’t. He is worthy of all I have to give.
God I don’t know what else to do. I believe in complete and total restoration. In complete healing and wholeness found in a loving Creator whatever and however You choose to show that. Thank you for all the times you have healed and for all the times you will Heal. Thank you for all the times I’ve stood before people and knew You were in control. Thank you for all the times you chose to use me anyways.
For everything I have done up until this point: time and money I put into my education and my own life experience. I’ve come away with this deep seated knowledge that this world is broken and in need of a Savoir. Without him you stand guilty in front of a holy God without a chance.
Pray
