I've grown up in the church all my life, learning the does and do nots, singing Jesus loves me, and winning the Bible sword drills. I got really good at playing the "good girl" so no one would feel led to intervene, because I was fine with be being on the outskirts. In and out. less chit chat. less awkward. less hurt. badabing badaboom. I knew the stories, I said the prayer, I'm good. Defining good by things I have not done, comparing myself to others sins and judging for myself I'm aight….
Really what is that all about though, what ruler was I looking at?
When confronted with a Holy God, I sure don't meet the mark of even being decent….
Anyways, I never let the church be the church to me. I'm really good at showing up and heading out. Ready to serve if you need me. But there's no need for you to care for me. I got this. HAHA wrong.
I've noticed this before I applied for the world race. Noticed I'm really independent and very prideful. Noted but never really sought to give that up, independence is a good thing right?
I'm wearing down. By God's grace my pride is taking hacket blows. I've heard the term holy two by fours. It fits.
If nothing else your friendships, your encouragement, and your giving for many of you sacrificially…it's humbling. I am so unworthy of it. To God be the glory that he is using you to be He's hands of feet.
I've needed those hands and feet every step of the way.
He is here, unrecognizable at times, unwanted at others, most importantly needed at all.
If your reading this, you've done something by getting me to this point and oh how I've asked the Father to bless you. Thank you. Keep beating this proud heart silly.
Support is $3,500….$11,300 to go!
