Yesterday I was talking to my teammate Heith and during the conversation he said, “What reputation?” We were talking about speaking out with boldness and not caring if you lose a few friends over what you believe. Our reputation means very little in the grand scheme of things. People can say anything they want about you, but what really matters is that you are following God along the path he has for you. It doesn’t really matter if people think you are crazy, you know what is real.
I love all my friends and would miss them if they were no longer in my life, but I can’t let that be what dictates my words and actions. Over the past few months I have begun to realize how much I would seek acceptance from the people around me. I became a chameleon and would adapt my personality based on the people I was around. I cared more about what they thought about me than hiding who I really was. I have a lot to give. The person God created me to be is perfect just the way he created me.
I AM ALREADY ACCEPTED BY GOD
God’s acceptance is better than any other. I strive to please him for he will never let me down. Men will let you down and at times you just can’t please them. With God, even in your messiness, even when you feel like you have nothing to offer, he looks at you and smiles. When I was running in the opposite direction, thinking that there was no way God could still love me. There was no way that after all I had done, all I had questioned, and all I had doubted he could still love me. What amazed me was that even after all that and after all my back and forth asking him to forgive me for the same thing a hundred times, HE STILL LOVES ME!!!!!!!
God still looked at me in my messiness and he accepted me and showed me how much he loved me. He didn’t accept me because of anything I had done or said. He accepted me because of who I am and because he loves me. I am still trying to grasp the magnitude of that love he has for us. He is constantly showing me that even though in my head I know he loves me, it still hasn’t clicked that it’s so much more than anything I can ever find on this earth.
From time to time I still think, “What will they say when they find this out?” or “What will happen if I say this?”, I am learning that it is more important that I say the things that God has given me rather than holding them back. It is more important for me to share his love than to keep it to myself, “Freely you have received; freely give.” Mathew 10:8. This life is not mine but God’s and he has called me to a life of boldness and not timidity.
I thank each of you for all your prayers, and as you continue to pray for me, pray that I would be bold and not worry about what people will think or say in response. Pray that I will follow after God and be so focused on him that I don’t see anything but the path he has laid before me. Pray that I don’t hear anything else but the words that he has given me. Thank you and may God continue to bless you.
