I could answer this blog question by telling you stories about my childhood and my past and how I became a Christian and all the things God has done in my life. But I won’t. Because even though those things are important, they aren’t the essence of this story. Instead, I’m going to tell you about the past year of my life, because that’s when God really started to move.
Last December, I graduated from college with high hopes and big dreams. I moved from West Virginia to Richmond, Virginia. My plan was to live in Richmond for a while, maybe head to DC, find a great job in my career field, and eventually go to grad school. I had a serious boyfriend and I expected life to continue being just wonderful. I hadn’t been serious about church for a long time, but I was starting to make God a priority in my life again. Everything felt perfect and I was sure my life was going to turn out exactly how I had planned.
Dude, was I in for a rude awakening!!
The job didn’t come along. The relationship ended. Grad school seemed like a distant dream.
I was miserable.
I finally began to realize, God was not my #1 priority. He was just sort of… there. I had been living for myself, not for God. I had been following my plans, not His. And that had to change. I began seeking Him actively – yearning to know Him and His will for my life. He brought me to a place of pure contentment. During that time (and still today!), I clung to Philippians 4:11, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” I learned to be completely satisfied with my life, as is. To trust that wherever God took me, that’s where I was supposed to be.
The result? Life changing.
My whole attitude, outlook, mindset, it all changed. I became the positive, upbeat, cheery, kind-hearted person that had been buried deep inside.
I had no idea what this meant, but I kept being content and letting God move if and when He chose to do so. I used my time to grow closer and closer to Him. I felt Him calling me to missions. Telling me to ‘Go! Serve!’ There were signs scattered in my everyday life. Conversations, Bible studies, church sermons, alone time – I knew what God was saying, but I didn’t have the details yet.
When I found the World Race online, it basically shook me to the core. Everything God had been hinting at in my life, and all the things I’d been seeking from God seemed to be wrapped up in this one trip. I prayed and sought Him more than ever, trying to make sure, is this really it? And yes, this was it. Through prayer, conversations with other Christians and some really amazing ways, God gave me the peace, contentedness and confirmation that this is where He was leading.
One of the greatest bits of wisdom I received, as I was coming to the final decision to apply for this trip versus searching for something else, came in the form of this statement, “Don’t be afraid to fail.” From that I learned – If God wants you to do this, you’ll be accepted and He’ll provide the funds and the means. If this isn’t what He wants you to do, then it won’t happen. But putting yourself out there and not being accepted, or ‘failing’ is ok, because it still brings you a step closer to God and figuring out His calling in your life.
So I stepped out in faith. And I’m letting God do the rest. I know it’s going to be a long and trying journey before, during and even after the trip. But as it says in Romans 8:28-31,
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
