Written 4-14-11
Streams of light flashing before my eyes
People passing by like blurs
All I can see is the emptiness and lifeless in their faces
Names, actions, nothing but blurs
Jesus, help me to see with your eyes
help me see clearly, bring focus
Music blares
Shouts for a good time fill your ear drums
A woman grabs my arms, persisting I visit her bar
Music blares, no clear thoughts can enter my mind
headache begins,
Confusion
Chaos
They fill the air
They entangle,
they suffocate
Trapped
This is how I feel.
Trapped in the chaos
Trapped in the pain
I can’t get out
So what do I do?
I shut down.
I numb the pain
I act like its no big deal
I take on the thoughts and feelings of the girls in the bar
They shut down, they numb themselves, they compartmentalize,
they focus on other things.
Trapped,
Suffocated
Empty
Void
Overwhelmed
Desperate
Helpless
Hopeless
These are what fill me tonight
These are what the women (and men) here live in daily
My heart cries out…
WHY LORD?
Why do these women have to live in so much pain? WHY??
They don’t my beloved
I love them,
I want them. I know them.
I have sent YOU.
Be my love,
shine my light
I am at work,
TRUST ME.
My eyes fill with tears, my heart lifts and I surrender.
I surrender my expectations
My lips can hardly open to utter,
“I trust you Lord�
A smile.
A foreign feeling.
Something that felt so unreal 5 minutes ago, fills my bones…
Love, life, HOPE
Lord you are the Lord of Hope.
You are the one to be glorified here.
HOPE
That is what I will speak this month.
HOPE.
That is what I will live by this month.
HOPE.
That is who we are.
