*Note: my broken legs
are figurative broken legs. Sorry for the confusion on the last blog… 🙂
….two broken legs?
Yes.
A Shepherd often breaks the legs of his sheep when they
begin to stray to help protect them. He breaks their legs out of love; out of
protection and care. He breaks them and brings the sheep to a whole new level
of dependency and trust. The sheep now depend on their shepherd for survival.
They depend on him for food, travel, and love. While being carried the sheep
begins to feel his tender touch. They feel every breath he takes as it sweeps
across their fleece. They feel his heartbeat as he takes each step leading them
into the new pasture. They feel the tender calluses on his hand as he brushes their
fleece bringing peace, calm, and healing to their body and aching legs. The
trust begins to grow, the bond stronger…….
The plane lands!
I arrive in Africa.
Tired and hurting. Aches and pain enter.
I lay broken crying
out to the Lord in the pouring rain.
I felt the break but I didn’t understand
it. I knelt broken and raw.
“I am breaking you my
beloved to rebuild you.�
I don’t understand and I struggle to trust. I continue to
weep. Aubrie comes over and speaks into
me, “The Lord wants you to know that he is breaking you so he can rebuild you
in him. He loves you.�
Well thank you for the confirmation! It’s time to walk into trusting him….
In the coming days we leave on a bus for Malawi….South
Africa to Malawi, it should be a 2 day journey. Knowing my heart and brokenness
my squadmate Mari shares Philippians 4:19, “And my God will meet all your needs
according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.�
“Trust me Megan.�
I will try.
I write Phil 4:19 on my arm to mark the truth and to help me
memorize it in belief.
(This is a fun way to memorize Scripture, try it sometime!)…….
Day 2….
We are at the Mozambique border. We slept on the very hot
bus the night before with no ventilation �” 64 of us! And I wake up sick….“Lord
be with me, be my strength.� We get out and stand in line. Five hours in line, we
enter the country. Thank you Jesus! Time to drive, but I’m getting worse.
My trust is faltering. I’m weak. I’m broken, now not just
spiritually but also physically. I’ve got it all and I’m struggling. I need a
bathroom. We get to the next border and experience more problems…including
needing to pay for the bathroom! But we have no currency! None of any kind! Lord
where are you? I pray Philippians 4:19 believing it to be true. Up comes a
squadmate who makes a deal with her ring so I can use the bathroom, thank you
Jesus (and Alexandra)! A little bit later, yes I need the bathroom J….I try asking for
grace again…a stranger comes up and pays for me to use the bathroom, thank you!
Eight hours we spend at this border, sick, hot, and
exhausted. I make friends with the bathroom attendant and the Lord gives me
favor allowing me to use it the rest of the day for free. But I am broken
physically, spiritually, and emotionally. My legs are broken but he was providing
for all of my needs. I feel his heart through my squad praying, loving, and
taking care of me the entire way. I feel his breath. I feel his touch bringing
peace to my body. His care in keeping us at the border for 8 hours so I could
be near a bathroom. I have water, hydration packets, cold water clothes for my
fever, toilet paper, and a someone petting my hair and comforting me at all
times. “Thank you for using the body of Christ to show your love Lord!�
“Do you trust me?�
It takes a rough bus ride to see, feel, and trust your love.
You provided for every need, EVERY need! You loved me every step of the way,
thank you. Yes, I trust you. It’s growing…�
A month of unexpected brokenness continues. My legs hurt but I feel God’s hand. He binds up wounds. I meet our contact’s wife, Tiwonge, and
have a wonderful night talking with her. Our hearts connect. At Thanksgiving
dinner she shares that her heart is to open an orphanage in the next 5 years.
(Tiwonge and I. Photo by Christy Zbylut)
I feel a tingle in my heart. Lord I have the same heart but
I still don’t fully want it. I know you told me I would have it but I’m
struggling.
The more we talk the more my heart changes. A new spark is
lighting. I feel a warmth and desire for the abandoned, the forgotten, the
abused, the lost, the broken, the spark is becoming a flame. Excitement grows.
“Do you trust me with
the orphanage?�
I lay in bed under my mosquito net hesitantly answering…..
Yes….
I feel a piece of life again within my heart.
My legs are healing….
(Part 3 still to come…)
