Written 12-26-10
Anna Maria….this is my girl. Every time I am around her she captivates me. Whether it’s sitting on my lap telling me all sorts of stories in Portuguese or singing and dancing, she is filled with joy, laughter, and love.
But today….today was different. When I saw AnnaMaria and said “Buen Dia” I got a blank stare rather than her radiant smile and giggle. When I waved for her to come over rather than running and jumping in my lap she just looked at me and stood against the wall. Something was different something was going on inside this little girl. Every time I looked into her eyes I just told her that she was loved, she was cared for, and she was safe here. I don’t know why those specific things but that is what I just said.
Finally after 20 minutes or so she was in a chair near me. I looked into her eyes and saw pain and rejection. I saw a blank, cold, and hurting girl and my heart just broke. I picked her up and sat her in my lap. She squirmed from a place that once had been so comfortable. She moved around as if love was painful and not fitting for her. She fidgeted a bit more then got up out of my lap and returned to her chair nearby. I looked at her for a minute, talking through my eyes, then picked her back up put her in my lap, and began to sing love over her. I just sang to her that she was loved. I simply repeated, “you are loved…AnnaMaria you are loved� for 5 minutes or so. Holding her in my arms singing over her a change began to occur. She sank into my lap more comfortably and found her position. And after a few minutes I saw her smile at Clara, her friend. She tussled a bit to get out of my lap but as she climbed out she was smiling and confident again. She sat in her chair and began telling me stories and smiling. This is the AnnaMaria I know. This is the little girl I cherish and look forward to playing with. All she needed was love, all she needed was to be held and told how much she was loved.
We all need that too. Sometimes we just need to be held and told how much we are loved. To be sung over. And God is ready to do that every day. It’s been a few days since I was in my Father’s lap. It’s been a few days since I let him just hold me and sing over me. Lately I’ve seen that I’ve been operating out of pain and rejection rather than love and joy. And in seeing that I realize it’s time for me to climb in my Father’s lap and to enter into the security and refuge of his love. It’s something I’m learning to enter into each day. It’s new, but I’m beginning to find my place on his lap, getting situated………what about you? Have you sat on your Father’s lap lately? Have you let him love you? Really love you? Let Him love you. Let him in. He will forever change you. He will bring life and joy to those dark painful places you are holding onto. He is a loving God and only wants the best for you. He will not hurt you, he is safe.
Take it from me and AnnaMaria,
two daughters who need healing
and love, His lap is a good place
to be.
Give it a try….
