Matthew 14:25-31
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
The past week, I have been reluctant to spend time with the Lord. (Being honest here). I came to a sudden realization (though it seems I should have realized this before) that I am most reluctant to spend time with the Lord alone because I am afraid of how he might move in me. Afraid of what he might ask me to do. Times in which I know the Lord is about to do something huge in my heart. Times like, for instance, when I’m about to leave the country for a year. These are the times when the enemy likes to keep me comfortable, distract me with safety, and instill in me fear and resistance. It is also the most important time to fight the urge to settle into the safe life that, while cozy, shuts out the Holy Spirit.
Reading this passage changed me this week. Although I’ve read about Jesus walking on water, and calling Peter out to him, time and time again, this week it hit me differently.
Peter committed to the Lord when he said “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” Easy enough. If you have committed your life to the Lord, it is more than likely that you have made a similar request. “Lord, let me hear your voice”, “tell me to move, and I’ll move”, “Lord, I will follow where you lead.” This is a similar plea that I made to the Lord when applying for the World Race…”God, if it is you calling me to this, let me get in. Make your will known, Lord, and I will obey.”
Funny, how just moments after his big leap of faith, Peter gets scared.
Moments after Peter is willing to put all of his faith in Jesus, who he can visibly see defying all rules of physics and walking on water, Peter gets scared.
And that’s where I am right now. I had the faith to commit to the World Race, to raise funds, to trust in a God I have seen at work in my life. And now I’m scared.
Earlier in the passage, Matthew (author) mentions the strong wind causing waves.
Somewhere between the boat and the place that Peter is called to, he sees the wind, and fears the waves it might cause.
Let’s talk about the boat. The boat is comfort, sureness. A way back to solid ground. What society teaches us is safe, healthy, sane, good. Romantic relationships. Living near your family. Having a great job in which you are successful. Having a salary. Starting a family of your own. The boat is a good thing. These are good things. But in this passage, Jesus calls Peter away from the boat.
And Peter goes! With faith he steps OUT of the boat and begins to walk towards Jesus (verse 29). But then…he sees the wind. He takes his eyes off of the Lord, and puts them onto trouble causing elements. He makes a split second decision to place his eyes upon the waves, and in that second his faith disappears, and he begins to sink.
Taking our eyes off the Lord to look at things of the world is dangerous.
So what does sinking look like? In the past few weeks, I have sunk into fear, sadness about leaving, anxiety, reluctance, and generally not even wanting to think about the race. It has kept me overwhelmed and not content.
And last night, that question rang in my head, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Lord, forgive me for doubting that you have good things for me. No matter where I am, I know that you are fighting for my good. Please help me to keep my eyes one you.
So often we feel so hungry for sureness and predictability in life, that we miss the most amazing surprises along the way by focusing on problems, fears and anxieties. What we need is to keep our eyes focused on the God who already has it all figured out. He isn’t worried about the waves. And isn’t it much better to walk than to sink?
