Earlier this month, we were able to be part of an extreme makeover slum school edition. We were asked to convert the ground level of our contacts house into a school for slum children. It sounded like a cool project and I was asked to be in charge of the murals.
At first I was excited! I had wanted to paint a mural in Malaysia, but didn’t get he chance. Now here was my chance and not just one, but three. It was a big job and a little scary to think I only had a week to complete it.
I started drawing in Thailand(back in December), only about 4 months ago. It began as a way to process and express my feelings. All those feelings that I refused to acknowledge/accept for a long time. So, while drawing was really helpful, I didn’t really see art as my thing or something I was very good at.
Art work from the past 4 months
So when questions about what I was going to paint or what I needed for the murals came around, I got overwhelmed quickly. I had never painted a mural before. I didn’t want to be in charge. It was hard to describe the picture in my head and even harder to figure out how to get it on to the canvas. In panic, my response to questions would be “I don’t know. Whatever you want.” And then I would hear “you are the artist.”
“I’m not an artist!” I can’t even begin to tell you how many times this phrase fell out of my mouth. The closer it got to the end of the week, the more overwhelmed I got and the more said it. I justified not being an artist with reasons like I haven’t been drawing that long, I haven’t taken classes or anything, and I’ve never painted.
I bought the paint one day and started on one piece of work. It became apparent very fast that they were not the right kind and they wouldn’t work. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to make it work anyway and just deal, but it was no use. I felt like a failure. We had a very tight budget and I had bought a bunch of paints that were useless. I was mad at myself and started to shut down.
I was done. I didn’t want to do the murals any more. I was sure that even if I finished the murals they would turn out terrible. I gave up and crawled in to my bed trying to find a way to get out of this project.
In the end we bought new paint for the murals and were even able to use the other paint for other projects. Each mural was finished in time and I’m really proud of how they turned out.
Map of the world
Dr Seuss mural “The more you read, the more you know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
Tree with Fruits of the spirit. (Sorry it’s turned)
Finishing the last mural, I heard “I’m going to be honest, I didn’t think you were going to pull this off.” It hurt, but I couldn’t be mad. I didn’t even have faith in myself or faith that God would work through me in this. I have been gifted with a creativeness and over the past 4 months God has pushed me to grow in that. He gave me the ability and me doubting that ability doesn’t glorify Him at all. I really had to learn to trust that whatever it is I’m doing, if I am doing it for God’s glory, He’s going to be working in it and it will all work out.
So get out there. Use your God given talents. And remember you are not alone. God is with you. When you can’t (or think you can’t), God can. When it’s hard to have faith in yourself, have faith in God.
We are wrapping up our time here in Nepal this week, and fly to Africa on May 1st. We will be heading to Swaziland first, then Botswana, and finally South Africa!
