Spanking your kids is absolutely necessary.
It is a natural way of discipline.
It shows the child that you are in control.
I don't understand why people wouldn't want to spank their kids.
I've always shook my head and chuckled when people say they are against spanking their kids.
If you spank them they will know you are being serious.
Spanking is just a way of letting the kid understand there are consequences to their behaviors.
I used to truly believe every one of these statements.
Until I came to South Africa.
And now my whole perspective has changed.
I finally get why parents say they don't spank their kids
And instead they use other forms of discipline.
What good can come from spanking a kid who gets abused daily?
A child walks into the house and shuts the door too loud
They are physically beat.
A little kid comes home from school
And their dad is angry at his farm tenant for something that happened in the field
So the kid gets slapped in the face.
If these kids are getting beat and abused for doing absolutely nothing wrong
What's the point in spanking?
What will you prove to them?
Besides that all people are evil.
That no one loves them.
That everyone is abusive.
That beating people is ok.
That nothing is wrong with fighting to get what you want.
These kids don't need to believe those things.
They need to know there are people who love them.
There are people who value them.
Fighting is not the answer to their problems.
They just need to be hugged and held in an embrace.
All of this never really hit me until it was time to take my little kindergarteners to dance class.
A simple game of freeze dance turned into a bull fighting arena.
There were kids rolling around on the ground hitting each other.
There were kids pushing each other up against the wall.
And there were kids dancing in a circle kicking each other.
They didn't speak my language.
They didn't stop when I asked nicely.
So I did all I knew to do.
I pried one of the girls off of the other one
And sat with her in my lap.
I sat there criss cross apple sauce style
With my arms wrapped around her.
She wiggled and pushed at my arms.
She used her feet to kick me.
But I just sat there holding her.
And whispering into her ear the truths she needed to hear.
I'm not mad at you.
I still love you.
I just want you to sit here for a minute.
I just don't want you to hit your friends.
I want you to be nice to them.
I'm not going to hurt you.
I love you.
I let her up.
It was time to go back to class
And she needed to put her shoes on.
All of the other kids ran back to class.
But she was still sitting there trying to put her shoes on.
So I walked over to help.
And I saw the look on her face
Right then I knew.
I knew she was afraid.
She was afraid I was going to hit her.
She feared being punished for misbehaving.
It never crossed my mind that I would not want to spank a child
Until that moment
