2/26/12
One of the biggest lessons God is teaching me currently is intentionality. Maybe it seems easy to you but for me it is a dreaded task. Being intentional with others is something you have to work for. And until recently it is something I have wanted to shy away from.
I have never been a fan of one-on-one conversations or spending time with just one other person. I feel so much pressure to entertain and make sure the conversation is always flowing if I am with just one other person. I am also afraid that the other person may want to be serious and ask deep questions which would cause me to be vulnerable and expose how I really feel or think about something. So although I don’t go out of my way to avoid one-on-one interactions, it is not something I thrive on or even look forward to. But in the quiet moments God is showing me how important it is to be intentional with others. It is important to ask those deep questions, to not be afraid to go beyond the surface, to desire to be purposeful and deliberate with what I say.
Saturday morning was one of those teachable moments for me.
There are certain times of the day that are meant only for sleeping. 5 o’clock in the morning is one of those times. However, I don’t want to miss out on anything this year or regret not doing something so when one of my squadmates said she would love to go for a walk on the beach and watch the sunrise I said I would go with her. As soon as I agreed to go a teammate chimed in real quick to say that I might go but don’t expect me to talk at that time of the morning (it’s nice to have people around who know me so well). In my mind I honestly expected it to be a quiet walk because of how I function in the mornings. I expected there to be a few words about the sounds of the waves or it being dark or the colors of the sun as it rose. That’s what I get for having expectations.
That morning went nothing at all like I pictured it would. That morning God continued to show me to cherish those small, intimate conversations. Such good things come from them. Encouragement, sharpening, truths, laughs. Just simply life building. This is one lesson from God I am beginning to appreciate and am so excited for it to become a regular part of my life.
