Last week was training camp, where I camped in a tent, slept in a bus, showered with cockroaches and met my new family. I was shattered, sleep-deprived, hungry, revived and challenged. It was the BEST week of my life thus far! I now introduce you to my team: Team O.I.L. (Overflowing Infinite Love). There are links to their blogs on the left column so you can learn more about them and post encouraging blog comments for them, as well. I am so blessed to be serving with these women!
Here's just a little taste of what happened in my heart at training camp:
Standing there, all my insecurities intact, I looked out at everyone around me dancing, singing and praising God in freedom.
I stood in the middle of the crowd, swaying, lifting my hands up and singing with passion, but thoughts of what others saw and thought of me were never far from my mind. I was still praising God; I was still singing the songs with sincerity and love for my Creator, but I was always aware of how I looked or how people may perceive me. I told myself that not everyone worships by dancing around like crazies or singing at the top of their lungs even though they don't have the most in-tune voices. That was one type of worship and I had my own.
But, there was something missing. Something I have known to be missing since I began this personal relationship with Jesus 3 years ago. In my daily walk with God I would do the bare minimum and if I had a crazy day of school, my time with Jesus would be the first thing I would give up.
I realized this week at training camp that I have become comfortable with where I am in my relationship with God. I was OK with being OK. I was never cold nor hot, always lukewarm. I would tell myself that I was just being "still" with God. You know the verse: "Be still and know that I am God." — Psalm 46:10. But, to be completely honest, I wasn't still, I was frozen. Numb. In a coma. Whatever you want to call it, I was not fervently chasing after my Redeemer, Healer and Father.
It was when I came to this, that I knew what to ask God for when I was in this week of preparation for the World Race. I wanted a changed heart. I wanted passion for Him. I desired to NEED Him and nothing else.
"Papa, I want to be in complete of awe of you! I want to experience the true power of your Holy Spirit! Father, why am I so ready to settle for OK? I know the truths about You, but I want more than just knowing…I want to be overwhelmed by Your Presence and freed from the chains to this world. I am sick of being lukewarm — set me on FIRE for You!"
What happened next was not what I expected. I thought surely my hand would start burning as a sign to go heal someone or my mouth would start speaking a language that only the Holy Spirit could understand. But, the Father knows me intimately (Psalm 139:13-16) and He knew exactly what I needed.
He sweetly told me to just: "Dance."
Next thing I knew I was in an open corner of the pavilion with my hands lifted high and swinging all around. I was jumping up-and-down and running in a circle around a make-believe fire, but instead of a fire I pictured my loving Papa standing where the fire would be. He was smiling at me, His Beloved daughter, as I freely praised Him. I no longer cared what people may have thought of what I looked like or what sound came from my lips. It was just me and the Holy Spirit, even though I was in the midst of hundreds of other brothers and sisters all freely praising our glorious God.
While I was lost in dance, my brother and squad-mate Jacob was being freed in a different way. Jacob has been relying on hearing aids since the first grade and was classified as legally deaf. It was at this time that people surrounded Jacob and laid their hands on his ears and head praying for the Holy Spirit to heal him just as Jesus did in Luke 7:22.
And he answered them, “Go and tell John what you have seen and heard:
the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear,
the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them.
I praise Jesus that I can say that I was witness to His healing power that night, as we watched Jacob take out his hearing aids, listen to us talk to him, and respond. It was not because of our own belief that Jacob was healed, nor was it because Jacob deserved it. Jacob's hearing was restored solely so we who were witnesses could go and tell of what God did and give praise and glory to Him alone. To see more of God's power through Jacob's story, go view this video.
I am amazed by what the Lord has shown me and how He has changed me in just one week. It is only a preview of what He is going to do this next year and after this week I realize I am more unprepared and unaware of how BIG and POWERFUL my God is, but I am more devoted to living a life with and for Him. No more lukewarm, I'm settling for nothing less than burning flames!
I cannot wait to experience what else the Lord has in store for my squad, team and me on this journey. Thank you, thank you, thank you for partnering with me!
Crazy Team O.I.L.
Court and me all greened out for Squad Wars.
Our daily 7am workout, this time hiking with our packs on.
