Somehow, Thailand has always been a dream of mine. At 16, that South East Asian country grabbed my attention and never let go. It may have been the unusual amount of Thai food I’ve consumed in my short lifetime or maybe it was the relatively large SE Asian population in my hometown, but whatever it was, that country has fascinated me for years.
At 20, when I gave my life to Christ, I started praying that God would allow me to go to Thailand one day. I knew that my low-level obsession with the country was actually a God-given desire that I hadn’t recognized before having a relationship with Him. So, I prayed.
When I was working for my church, one of the perks of my job was having the chance to lead a mission trip aboard. At 22, that was a daunting but thrilling opportunity. Our church was set up to go to East Asia and Central Asia, like we always have for the last 4 years. Our trip to East Asia though, the one I was supposed to lead, wasn’t going to work out that year.
Suddenly, the world was open. Where should we go? I was overwhelmed by our network of connections and possibilities. Our staff met back up a week later, and one person said, “I have a random idea. I know a group that needs help in Thailand. McKenzie, what do you think of that?” I think the tears in my eyes were a dead giveaway of how I felt. I’d prayed for almost 3 years that I would get to go to Thailand! And now, an opportunity had been so easily placed before me.
In August of 2016, I co-led a trip to Thailand. Those two weeks were some of the most exhausting weeks of my life, and I loved every bit of it. Thailand felt like the right place to be.
When I applied for the World Race, I picked it largely because I would be in SE Asia for 3 months. So last month, May of 2017, I went back to Thailand for a second time. In ways, it was strangely similar to my first experience, yet I saw how much I’d grown in those short 9 months.
We served alongside Pastor Popcorn and Mama Meow (as we affectionately call them), his family, and their friends. We worked 7-10 hour ministry days, teaching English at schools all over central Thailand. We interacted with hundreds of children. We spent hours of our free time fundraising in order to buy the family a new van to keep their ministry going. It was not a restful month, but it was the best month. It was the best because we became family with our Thai host and friends.
On the World Race, we’re used to pouring out endlessly to the people around us without being poured back into. These people were different though. They made us keel over with laughter, even though they told their jokes in Thai. They stepped in during our teaching when they could tell we were tired and needed a break. I could express my frustrations and fears, and they supported me in prayer. They drove 5 hours from Tak Fa to Bangkok, just to spend a few more hours with us before we left. When I cried in the middle of an Asian mall, so disappointed that I had “failed” them by not raising all of the money for a new van, they crouched down beside me and implored me to believe that we had made them feel seen and loved and had given them hope, van or no van.
Leaving Asia, but more specifically Thailand, was the hardest goodbye for me on the Race so far. It felt unnatural.
I’d already left my home in America. Why did I feel like I was leaving home again?
God’s funny that way. I’d dreamed about this place for 7 years. In four short weeks, He’d made it another home. As I left, I felt like He told me, “I put Thailand on your heart so long ago, you’ve accomplished what I asked you to do, and now the ball is in your court. You listened and obeyed, so now you have a choice. You can never come back and I’ll bless that. But could come back and I’d bless that too.”
Yet again, God had taken my dreams and made them better than I could imagine. Now, the decision is mine about whether to return or not.
I texted my mom, telling her how sad I was about leaving Thailand, and she told me not to worry, saying “I have a pretty good feeling you’ll be back.”
I think she’s right.
