As you may have been able to tell if you’ve read my previous blog posts, I am a very passionate person. I have always been that way, but as I have grown older, it has grown exponentially stronger. Especially considering I’m now at an age where I am able to be aware of current events and educate myself on issues, my convictions and passions have simply continued to deepen.
My strongest passion is for justice and seeing an end to suffering, which is a tough position to be in with a world seriously lacking the former and running rampant with the latter.
Since being on this trip, a big thing that God has done – and is continuing to do – is teaching me how to be mature and Christ-like in my passions, as well as to see Him in all of it; both the good and the bad.
While He has grown me a lot in both of those aspects of myself, I still struggle at times in figuring them out, handling being constantly surrounded by seemingly endless injustice and suffering, and trying to find God in it all. I could compile lists upon lists of things that trouble me and have been the cause of countless days full of heartbreak and confusion, where I would beg God to tell me why He allows those things to happen.
This state of questioning and confusion troubled me because while I now know why God created me to be so aware of justice and passionate about its end, I didn’t know if it was wrong for me to question Him.
It wasn’t until I started reading through the books of the prophets in the Bible – which I would recommend to any person who is passionate about justice – that the Lord really spoke to me. I reached Habakkuk, which starts off with words that seemed to be written by my own hands:
“Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?…justice never prevails.” ~ Habakkuk 1:3-4
As I read those words, I felt a sense of comfort in knowing not only that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way, but that my exact thoughts were actually written by great prophets in the Bible.
As I read the rest of Habakkuk, as well as through Isaiah, I noticed that the verse I found at the beginning of Habakkuk was not an isolated incident. The prophets often questioned God, begging Him to tell them why He would hide Himself from His people and allow injustice to prevail and suffering to continue. The part of this that is crucial to recognize, though, is that rather than simply questioning, the prophets waited for an answer from God.
An answer that He always gave.
The prophets eloquently highlight both the need for questions and the importance of listening for God’s answers. Rather than simply asking questions and then turning their ears and focusing on what was going on around them, they would allow God to express His true desire for justice. If you carefully read through His answers, you will see that they are actually quite emotional.
Just read through Isaiah, Jeremiah, or Hosea – in Hosea, He actually turned Hosea into a living parable for this – you will see God speaking as though He is the father of a wayward son or a betrayed lover. His voice is filled with heartbreak and pain for the actions of His people, and wants nothing more than for them to return to His open, loving arms.
Upon realizing these things, I have been able to put God in the centre of my passions and have begun to understand Him on a much deeper level. Honestly, my entire outlook on the passions God has given me and the reason for them has completely changed. It’s not me who hates injustice and suffering, but God. He has simply made me His voice in it all.
“Do not be afraid, keep speaking, do not be silent.” ~ Acts 18:9
Before coming on this trip, I wasn’t sure if speaking out against injustice was a quality that a woman of God could possess. I was told that I needed to be gentle and quiet, so how could that fit into being so intensely passionate?
The beautiful thing is, God has revealed so much to me in the past 4 months that I now know it can be a quality of a woman of God. God purposefully made me a woman of passion and gave me a strong voice to speak out. There is so much freedom in knowing that God loves that part of me, and that the passions I have are passions that He too possesses.
This past season of my life has deepened both my relationship with God and my understanding of who He is. He has shown me that He is not a stoic God who simply stands by and watches while injustice and suffering happen, but one whose face is just as tear-streaked as mine.
He has shown me that in our walks with Him, if we truly strive for it, we are constantly growing and evolving. Asking questions is vital to growth and understanding in our relationships with Him, as long as we’re seeking to find the answers and listen when He gives them.
God craves deeply for us to know and understand Him, so take the time to understand who He is, ask Him your questions, and listen for His answer. Who knows what the God of the universe is going to tell you?
